


Bewhipped! Year Three

by Cerdic519



Series: Bewhipped! [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Back to School, Birthday Sex, Bullying, Childbirth, Christmas, Dean in Panties, Destiel - Freeform, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Driving, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fourth of July, Gay Sex, Handcuffs, Hospitals, Human Castiel, Hungry Dean Winchester, Indiana Jones References, Injury, Justice, Light Dom/sub, Loud Sex, M/M, Maids, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Military, Paintguns, Pie, Pouting Dean Winchester, Pregnancy, Romance, Social Justice, Swearing, Teenagers, Texas, The Deerstalker Hat, Traumatized Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-26 06:13:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 60
Words: 25,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13229712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerdic519/pseuds/Cerdic519
Summary: A fluff-fest set in Stephenville, Texas, where Cas and Dean face married life while raising their adopted son – and an unexpected new arrival from Pontiac, Illinois. Dean does not pout (it's a manly sulk) and is definitely not whipped (except when pie and/or sex are on offer).This is a continuation of Years One and Two in the Bewhipped! world, but can be read as a stand-alone fic if you just want some fluff.





	1. Week One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lochinvar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lochinvar/gifts), [lyster99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyster99/gifts), [majesticduxk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesticduxk/gifts).



> My 400th fic!  
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets a belated Christmas present, much to Dean's annoyance and Cas' surprise.

It was a fairly normal day in the Winchester household, with Cas sat at the kitchen table in that awful dead man's dressing-gown and those ridiculous fluffy bunny slippers, and Dean cooking up breakfast while trying not to think about taking his husband right there on said table, and instead focusing on.....

“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!”

Ben shot into the kitchen at his usual breakneck speed and threw himself at a startled Cas, hugging him fiercely. Both men were more than a little bemused at their son's dramatic entrance.

“Er, what are you thanking us for?” Dean asked from the cooker, remembering that his husband was only on his third cup of coffee and so might not be expected to have reached full coherence yet.

“I said that I wanted Santa to bring me a sister”, Ben exclaimed. “Well, he must've been busy with all his deliveries at Christmas, but he did remember after all. I _knew_ he wouldn't let me down!”

The two men stared at each other in total confusion.

+~+~+

Claire Novak woke to the dual realization that a) she was in a really comfortable bed for once, and b) she had overslept and then some, and certain people were probably up. She really should have just fronted up, but.... well, in the circumstances....

She got her few possessions and tiptoed to the window. Then she stopped, and gulped. There was a note taped to it:

_'I have removed the ladder you used to gain ingress to our property. You may use the upstairs bathroom on the other side of the stairs to wash and shower; toiletries and towels have been placed out for you. Then you may join us downstairs for breakfast._

_Castiel Winchester'_

Well, apart from sounding like he'd swallowed a dictionary – seriously, who used words like 'ingress' even in a note? - he didn't sound as bad as she'd feared. And her stomach was reminding her that it was too long since her last good meal, so she might as well face the music. How terrible could it be?

+~+~+

“Hello, Claire.”

It was creepy, the way he looked like... like someone else in her life.

“You know her?” the other guy asked incredulously. This had to be his husband Dean, who her mother referred to as 'the underwear model' for some strange reason. She worried about her mother at times.

“No, he's psychic!” she could not help saying. “Duh!”

Dean folded his arms and pouted. Either that, or he was suffering a sudden and painful bowel movement. 

“This is Claire, my cousin Jimmy's daughter”, Cas said. “I, as I am sure you are aware, am Castiel, and this is my husband Dean. And our son, Ben.”

She was about to ask how they'd managed that when she caught the look on Cas' face. She gulped, and stopped.

“Why's she here?” Dean asked suspiciously. “I thought you said your cousin lived up in Illinois somewhere?”

“Pontiac”, Cas said. “He and Amelia went to England for eighteen months; she obtained a post at a university over there. Claire was staying with Amelia's sister, Virginia.”

“She drank like a fish”, Claire said. “And her husband was creepy. I decided to come here instead.”

“Without informing them?” Dean asked. “They'll be frantic.”

“They went to spend the holidays with friends in Chicago”, she said dismissively. “They won't have noticed yet. And no, I'm not going back!”

“So we can keep her?” Ben asked hopefully.

“”No way!” Dean said.

Cas just looked at him. Dean shuffled his feet and stared hard at the floor. There was a high-pitched cough that an uncharitable person might have interpreted as a whine.

“ _We_ shall discuss the matter”, Cas said firmly.

Claire grinned to herself. She could see who wore the pants in this house.

And now he was looking at her too! Dammit!


	2. Week Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Stroppy teenager'. An adjectival-noun pairing that is about as unexpected as 'wet ocean'. Fortunately, there is a Cas.

The new arrival's cynicism about her 'guardians' not missing her proved to be unerringly accurate; it was five days before they answered the message left on their phones, only to say that they might drive down to collect her some time. Jimmy and Amelia were rather more concerned (as in frantic), but Cas was able to calm his cousin down over a Skype connection set up for them by Charlie, and eventually it was sorted that Claire would stay with them until he and Amelia returned in summer the following year.

“Eighteen months”, Dean had muttered glumly. “Manslaughter with remission gets you less.”

He had said this (very quietly) while he was alone in the upstairs bathroom, so it was damnably annoying to go down and find a certain smart-arsed husband staring suspiciously at him. 

In the end Dean had been given three days off from the garage to drive nearly a thousand miles to Pontiac and the same distance back just to collect their new resident's things. And he did not grumble about it one little bit. 

Alright, he _did_ ask Cas if he was allowed to stop at any Golden Corrals he may 'happen' to encounter on the way. And the fact that some smart-arsed husband had a map ready with them (and the Waffle Houses) all marked - along with opening hours! -didn't mean he could read Dean like a book!

Shut up.

+~+~+

Looking back, Dean was surprised that they had made it a whole seven days before having a stroppy teenager in the house resulted in an argument. The topic, equally predictably, was school.

“You can't make me go”, she said stubbornly.

“Your school in Pontiac rated you as gifted”, Cas said firmly, “and we are not going to squander such an advantage just because you have moved across country.”

She stared at him in shock.

“You contacted my old school?” she demanded incredulously.

The slow smile was unnerving. If he knew about that, then he also knew about.....

That was definitely a nod.

“Your teachers can help you decide if you are ready to take your GED this summer”, Cas said. “And for now, Dean or I can drive you to school.”

“Not in that muscle car of his!” she retorted. “I have some standards.”

Dean wondered if there was anywhere to trade her in. Cas looked at him again, and he gulped.

“You are going, starting next week”, Cas said.

“You can't make me!” she said again.

Dean smothered a grin. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.....

“Stop looking at me like that!” she demanded.

“I just..... I feel that this is best for you”, Cas said, and he was using his most put-upon victim face, the one that very occasionally (all too often) had Dean driving to the store in his pajamas to fetch desperately needed Pop Tarts or coffee. “I am only trying to do what is best. Really.”

 _Breaking_ , Dean thought. _Any minute...._

“Fine, I'll go!” She grumbled. “Just don't look at me like that again. It's not fair!”

Dean was about to smirk when he caught another warning look. He smiled back innocently at his husband, who narrowed his eyes sharply at him.

It was cold in the kitchen. That was why Dean shuddered.

Yes it _was!_

+~+~+

“So?” Cas asked later that night.

“So what?” Dean asked, confused.

“Did you have a nice, long conversation with Baby, apologizing for what Claire called her?”

“Shut up!” Dean spluttered. 

Cas just folded his arms and stared at him. Dean huffed.

“Alright!” he grumbled. “Leave a man some pride, dammit!”

Cas smirked.

“Not by the time I'm finished with you!” he grinned wolfishly.

Look, it was a _manly_ whine!


	3. Week Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Open fire!

Dean Winchester would like it placed firmly on record that he was not whipped. He was a manly man, who could man with the best of them and qualified for an Iridium Man Card. And he had not had to ask Cas' permission to be out at this time of night. He had done so just because he was a wonderful, considerate and caring husband.

His cock chafed against the leather cock-ring that some horny bastard of a husband had insisted he wear that night. Dean manage to suppress a very high-pitched manly cough.

The reason Dean, Cain, Benny and Ash were positioned strategically around Lieutenant Ben's front garden was, in fact, Charlie. She had met the ex-soldier during her involvement in the VA scandal, and had taken an interest in both him and the small but vocal anti-military group at Cas' college. Ever since the expulsion of the unmourned Ms. Sheffield they had kept a lower profile, but recently the technician had discovered that they were planning to vandalize the ex-soldier's house today, Martin Luther King Day. And being the cowards they were, the attack would occur at two in the morning. Which explained why Dean and his colleagues, armed with paint guns (yes, checked and approved by Cas; leave a man some pride here!) were waiting for them. 

A black truck pulled up outside an empty lot some distance down the road, disgorging five black-clad figures who moved stealthily closer.

“Target approaching”, came Charlie's voice in his ear-piece. Dean grinned and focused his night-vision lens on the approaching group. He gave silent thanks to Cas for arranging that the lieutenant spend the night at his sister's place not far away, and readied his aim. Just let them get in the exact center where all four men could hit them simultaneously.

The five figures were mostly silent, and Dean grinned even more as they stopped before the bottle placed strategically in the center of the path - a bottle with the flag of Texas in it. As Charlie had guessed they sniggered, and one of them reached down to take it.

“Fire!” Dean yelled.

The four men let rip from their respective corners, and their victims did not know which way to turn. Wherever they ran, there was a hail of red, white and blue paint exploding all over them. Dean saw one guy (or possibly gal) try to slip away to the right, and unloaded a volley on them that stopped the in their tracks. Finally, the intruders fled out the gate and back to their truck.

Dean's grin widened even more. He had seen the black-clad figure move in on the truck just after the things had left it, and knew that it was going nowhere. There was a string of creative curses from inside the thing – which got even louder when a police car with its lights flashing turned onto the road behind them.

+~+~+

“Oh dearie me”, Cas said flatly at the breakfast table a few hours later. “It seems that five students from my college have been held for questioning over a vandalism incident. Missouri will be placing _that_ on their permanent records, for sure.”

Dean yawned. He had fallen asleep almost once his husband had got the cock-ring off of him the night before, but Cas had woken him up this morning with a hand-job that.... well, he would be tender down there all day.

So worth it!

“Why're they called vandals?” Ben asked curiously. “Is it because they drive round in vans?”

“The Vandals were a powerful European people over a thousand year ago”, Cas explained. "They were the first to take the city of Rome, an event that marked the beginning of the end for the Western Roman Empire. Today we call anyone who commits damage for no reason a vandal.”

“You're so clever, papa”, Ben said proudly. “Do you know why daddy has red and blue paint on his nails?”

Fortunately Claire entered the room at that moment, providing just the distraction Dean needed – at least until she glared at him.

“I am _never_ using the upstairs bathroom again!” she muttered. “And you're paying for my therapy!”

Dean turned bright red.


	4. Week Four – I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean suddenly and inexplicably takes against the idea of online shopping.

Cas looked up sharply as he heard his niece – he could not make himself think of Claire as his first cousin once removed, especially as she had now taken to calling him 'Uncle Cas' – came in from school. Normally Dean would have brought her home, but today one of Linda Tran's friends was giving her a lift as they had wanted to visit that lady.

“Claire?”

“Just going to my room”, she called back.

Cas' eyes narrowed.

“In here”, he said firmly. “Now, please.”

Sure enough, she did not look straight at him when she entered, though she was trying to hide it.

“Is something wrong?” Cas asked.

“No. Nothing.”

He just stared at her. It took less than twenty seconds.

“I'm so glad Mom and Dad can't do that!” she grumbled. “All right. Some of the boys at school were teasing me because they said my clothes were so old.”

The stare continued. Another fifteen seconds.

“And I, uh, may have sorta thumped one of them”, she admitted, staring in fascination at the carpet. “The principal told him off more than me, though.”

Cas sighed.

“You have to understand”, he said gently, “that neither Dean nor I have much experience in this field. Are your clothes particularly old, Claire?”

“Just a bit worn”, she admitted. “Mom and Dad were never into clothes shopping; they just gave me an allowance and left me to it.”

Cas frowned.

“Did you not have an allowance when you were with your aunt and uncle?” he asked.

“They, uh, took it for room and board”, she muttered.

“Well, in that case you may get to experience one of the great joys of the Winchester household”, Cas smiled. “Mall shopping.”

“You find that a joy?” she asked, surprised.

“I enjoy it”, he grinned. “Dean absolutely hates it – but he pretends to like it because.”

“Because what?” she asked.

He just looked at her.

“Ew! TMI!”

“I didn't say anything”, he grinned.

“That just left it to my imagination”, she grumbled. “I'm just glad my room is over the other side of the house for when you.... you know.”

“When we wave our arms about in a vague and uncertain manner?” Cas asked innocently.

She shook her head at him, but smiled.

+~+~+

“Online shopping”, Dean said once Cas had told him about it when he got home. “Give her a set amount of credit to use, and have it all delivered here. Saves no end of trouble.”

“You mean it saves you being dragged around a mall all Saturday morning?” Cas smiled.

“I'm working this Saturday”, Dean retorted.

“I could always ask Bobby to let you have some time off”, Cas suggested. His husband's eyes widened in alarm.

“You dare!”

“A pity”, Cas sighed. “Because if we _had_ all gone family shopping this Saturday, then Charlie was going to ask if Ben and Claire could sleep over at her and Dorothy's place. And then we could have the whole house to ourselves....”

He was probably more gratified than was appropriate at his husband's suddenly increased breathing and dilated pupils.

“Onlineshoppingterribleidea!” Dean agreed, not at all quickly. “I'llphoneBobby.”

Cas did not smirk as Dean fumbled with his phone.

“Shaddup!”


	5. Week Four – II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone has a birthday – and Claire learns what her friends think of her new relatives.

Claire had not forgotten what today was, and Ben had not had to remind her twice. Besides, she had promised him extra sweets if he promised not to let on.

She came downstairs yawning, to find that the dynamic duo were not yet down. Unusually Cas had said that she would have to take the bus today, as Dean would not be able to drive her to school. Her friends there had, for reasons that still eluded her, actually thought Dean's behemoth of a car 'cool'. She worried about them sometimes.

Ben was sat at the table, and she noted from the milk-jug that his cereal must have been prepared the night before. The kid was munching happily away at the same sort of processed gerbil-droppings that Uncle Cas ate, which showed just what a bad influence he was. Talking of which....

“They not down yet?” she asked, helping herself to cereal.

“It's Daddy's birthday”, Ben said. “Papa said that he wanted to give him his present before they came down.”

She winced at that image. Unfortunately the kid was sharp.

“Why've you gone red?” he asked at once. “It can't be that bad a present. Daddy loved it.”

“How do you know that?” she asked.

“I heard him thanking God for it”, Ben said levelly.

She wondered if Illinois had been that bad after all....

+~+~+

She was, unfortunately, coming back from the downstairs bathroom when she heard the two of them coming down the stairs. Cas stepped down lightly as usual, but Dean seemed to be in particular pain, letting out a strangled yelp at every step down. 

She really wished her mind had not told her just why that was. Ew!

“I'm off for the bus”, she said. “I left your card and present on the table, Uncle Dean.”

Dean had reached the table, and she winced again as Cas pointedly placed a pillow on the chair for him to sit on. Dean thanked him, and lowered himself gently onto the chair, with only two or three further little yelps.

“Is Daddy alright?” Ben asked.

“Daddy is fine”, Cas smiled. “He will just have to take things easily today. No hard surfaces, for example.”

Despite his agonies, Dean had already ripped open the present Claire had left him.

“A car-cleaning kit”, he grinned. “Thanks. I'll use it this Sunday.”

“Why not Saturday, daddy?” Ben asked.

“Your father and I are taking you both shopping Saturday morning”, Cas smiled. “Then later, we have.... Plans.”

Claire fled.

+~+~+

“Blatant, the pair of them”, she told her friend Alex on the bus. “And the way they look at each other... I half expect to see rainbows and unicorns floating overhead. It's disgusting!”

“But your uncle is so hot!” Alex protested.

Claire looked at her in horror.

“You what?”

“That scruffy look is adorable”, she trilled. “Several of the girls can't wait to go to college and be under him....”

“Argh! Stop talking!”

Claire just put her head in her hands. Somewhere in the future, some lucky therapist was about to get a new client. And her uncles would damn well be paying!


	6. Week Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lessons in life – and in decorating.

The night before, Claire had come down to get a drink from the kitchen and found Dean fast asleep on the couch. And Cas was in the kitchen, baking pie.

“Why's Uncle Dean so tired?” she asked.

“He had to go out on Sunday to help with that crash, remember”, Cas said. “And he worked late yesterday and today.”

“Are they busy at his garage, then?”

“No more than usual for winter”, Cas said. “But he wanted this coming Saturday off. We are all going shopping again.”

“Ah”, she said knowingly. “And the pie is to stop him from complaining too much.”

Cas smiled, but did not deny what she had said. Mainly because it was true.

“Actually we were going to talk to you about it tonight”, he said, “but clearly Dean needs his sleep. We decided that you might want to redecorate your room a bit. Nothing major – no painting or wallpaper – but if you want some new things to make it your own, we can get you those this weekend. I spoke with your mother and father, and they agreed it would be a good idea as you will be with us for over a year.”

That was.... kinda considerate.

“Uh, thanks”, she managed, feeling as she said it that she sounded damn ungrateful.

“By telling you today, you've got three days to look online for ideas”, Cas said. “And you might see some things there that we can't get in store, in which case we'll order them for you.”

Aw.

“Have you done your homework?”

There went the aw.

“Mostly.”

He just looked at her. She sighed.

“On my way”, she grumbled, taking her drink. “And cut with the freaky mind-reading thing, Uncle Cas!”

She could empathize with her Uncle Dean at times like this. Someone's not-smirk was damn annoying!

+~+~+

Claire had to admit it; Uncle Cas was a genius when it came to shopping trips. They went out for a family breakfast at a Waffle House, then hit the mall where the only delay was in Dean finding somewhere for his 'Baby' (honestly!) to park safely. Once that monumental task had been accomplished it was into the shops and, she noted, interspersed among all the places she had down to visit were stores for Dean and Ben. The kid did not even complain when told he could not have a toy he wanted, although she saw Cas making a covert note about it on his phone, and he muttered 'Christmas, perhaps' to her when he caught her looking at him.

She had already found about half of what she had wanted online, so they were done by dinner. Then it was a drive to a celebratory lunch at a local cafe, where the burgers were positively heavenly. Even worth putting up with Uncle Dean seemingly trying to inhale his!

Back home, their purchases were stored downstairs while waiting for the remaining online stuff to arrive. Luckily the school had a training day next week ('just an excuse for the teachers to sit around and say what they really think of us', Alex had quipped to her the day before), so she could use that day to arrange her room the way she wanted. Dean had looked horrified at some of her purchases, especially a Goth-style poster, but _someone_ had just looked at him, and he had said nothing. There had also been a definite tremble in there.

She really had to get Uncle Cas to teach her how to do that before she left.


	7. Week Six – I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas plays the detective, and does not cuddle his husband (though there may be some manly embracing).

If there was one thing about Cas, it was that he knew Dean almost creepily well. So despite the fact that his husband had said nothing all day while fitting a new shelf in Claire's room, Cas just _knew._

A particular hint was that Dean did not even object when Cas suggested some manly embracing that evening, although he looked sharply at his husband in case he suggested that other word that rhymed with 'huddling'. The professor's innocent look did not fool the mechanic for one minute.

“What's wrong?” Cas asked eventually. Dean sighed.

“It's just..... I expected it to be different”, he said.

“Expected what to be different?” Cas asked.

“Her room”, Dean said. “I mean, I wasn't expecting flowers and kittens and pink all over the place, but all that gray is just... depressing.”

“She calls it minimalist”, Cas corrected. “She likes it, and it's her room now. Besides, the room may be the least of our problems.”

Dean allowed himself to be manfully embraced a little more closely before answering.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“She got a text at dinner”, Cas reminded him. “When she read it in the main room, she muttered that sounded like a boy's name, and went bright red.”

“Creepy professor hearing”, Dean said. “One of your many superpowers.”

“Indeed”, Cas said. “Like the fact I know you stopped for pie on the way to get dinner tonight.”

Dean stared at him in astonishment.

“What the.... how the hell could you know that?”

“Well, it could be the tracking device I had fitted to your car”, Cas said, silently enjoying the look of absolute terror on his husband's face. “Or it could be that you didn't bury the pie box far enough down in the recycling bin, and I found it when I went out later.”

“It's like living with damn Sherlock Holmes!” Dean grumbled.

There was no reply. Cas just nibbled lazily on the back of his neck.

“What?” Dean asked.

“Just thinking of the great detective”, Cas said. “I wonder if I could get one of his deer-stalker hats?”

“Ridiculous-looking thing!” Dean snorted.

“And then come home and fuck you, wearing only the hat.”

And that was the other thing about Cas. He had the power to destroy his husband with a few words. Dean tried desperately to control his suddenly rapid breathing, and to ignore the mile-wide smirk he knew was right behind him. Goddamit!

On the plus side, there was a costume shop in town.....


	8. Week Six – II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire has a birthday - and someone else has a terrible shock.

It was the smallest thing, the azure stare that lasted a fraction of a second too long every time. But there was no mistaking it, and Jesse Turner seriously felt he was about to lose his breakfast. And probably last night's supper as well.

Professor Novak _knew_.

The professor was, it had to be admitted, one of the quirkier guys at the college, so at first Jesse had just thought he was imagining things. But no. When talking to anyone else, he finished his conversation and moved on, but with Jesse there was that definite pause every time. The guy knew that his niece – well, technically his cousin – Claire was seeing Jesse. 

The professor was also one of the most popular people at college, especially after his run-in with that terrible student from the east coast last year. Officially he was Professor Winchester, married to a tall mechanic who Jesse had seen round the college several times. The other Mr. Winchester drove an ancient car and always had that sappy look on his face whenever he came to the college, and sometimes the professor would smile strangely of a morning in a way that his students had learned very quickly not to inquire into. Strangely, although Professor Novak was the shorter and less muscular of the two, Jesse was more afr.... concerned about him.

The boy had a free final period that day, so he drove over to collect Claire from her school and to drive her home. It was her birthday today, and he had already given her a small golden necklace. Maybe she might want to do something for Valentine's Day coming up....

They stopped outside her house and he walked her to her door, wondering if she might let him in. 

“Birthday kiss?” he suggested.

“Possibly not.”

Jesse did not scream in horror as Professor Novak somehow materialized right behind Claire. 

Look, at least he did not scream as loudly as she did!

“Uncle Cas! You nearly gave me a heart-attack!”

“Hello, Jesse.”

Those blue eyes seemed to be calculating just how far down he or his husband might have to bury a body some time in the future. Muttering a hasty goodbye, Jesse fled, narrowly missing the mailbox as he almost fell into his car and roared off the estate. He did not know what it was, but something about that professor scared the crap out of him.

+~+~+

“I think you did that deliberately”, Claire said accusingly.

Cas did not try to deny it. Instead he looked across to Dean and nodded. The taller man reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny envelope.

“Happy seventeenth birthday, girl”, he said. 

She looked curiously at the envelope, and opened it. Inside was a small, nondescript leather key-ring in black with a gold letter 'C' on it.

“Uh, thanks”, she said.

“Dean!” Cas said warningly.

“You're no fun”, his husband pouted. “Alright, there's a bit more to it than that. We spoke with your Mom and Dad, and they're giving you driving lessons up to your first test. And when you pass, we'll see about getting you a set of wheels.”

She was stunned.

“A nice, sensible, cheap to run car”, Cas said firmly. “And no, Dean. It will be _Claire's_ choice of vehicle.”

She grinned at the taller man's pout. He was so whipped!


	9. Week Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having your very own Uncle Cas has its good and its bad points.

“You'll see!” Claire said confidently. 

Ben just shook his head at her as they walked into the kitchen for dinner. Cas was sat at the table with his laptop open, and Dean was plating up their food.

“Can I go to a party tomorrow evening, please?” Claire asked Dean.

“You up to speed on your homework and all that?” he asked warily.

“Your husband knows the teachers at school”, she groused, “and they'd rat on me if I wasn't. So can I?”

“What do you think, Cas?”

His husband looked up from his laptop – seriously, how had he managed to get his hair into such a state indoors? - and stared curiously at her.

“No.”

Dean and Claire both looked at him in surprise.

“Told you”, Ben said with a smirk.

“Uh, why not?” she asked.

“Because there is no party tomorrow night”, he said. “As it's the day before Valentine's Day, I'm guessing that Jesse has reservations somewhere.”

She blushed fiercely.

“How the hell did you know she was lying?” Dean demanded.

“Finish getting dinner ready”, Cas said, handing him a ladle. “People do certain things when they tell lies, and as a professor, I've learned how to spot them.”

“Alright”, she sighed, “can I go out with Jesse tomorrow evening?”

“No way!” Dean said hotly.

The silence in the kitchen as Cas looked at him was palpable.

“Uh, what do you think, Cas?” Dean said, ignoring the sniggers of two kids who were about to find out what it felt like to go without dinner. For a week.

“I'm fine with it”, Cas said, shaking his head at Dean for some reason.

“You are?” Claire asked incredulously.

“Of course”, Cas smiled. “A week's extra chores, for lying to us.....”

“Hey!”

“And you will be back by eleven.”

“Twelve?”

This time it was her turn to be on the receiving end of a look.

“Eleven”, she agreed glumly.

“Why would she need to be out so late anyway?” Ben asked.

“Food time!” Dean said quickly.

+~+~+

“Were you mad?” Jesse asked as he waited for her to buckle herself in. “I'd _never_ cross Professor Novak? I'd like to see my next birthday!”

“He's not that bad”, she said. “Just when he looks all soulful at you, and makes you feel like you've just drowned a kitten.”

“And he's so inventive with his punishments”, Jesse shuddered. “I'll be doing pop tests and failing exams everywhere until I'm drawing a pension. No thank you!”

+~+~+

Claire was actually surprised that the only light on in the house when they got home was from her uncles' bedroom, which meant.... no, not going there. 

“I've got a week of extra chores ahead”, she sighed, “but I enjoyed tonight. Thanks, Jesse.”

“Goodnight kiss?” he said hopefully.

“Maybe next time, once I've cleared it with Control”, she grinned.

“Very wise!” came a familiar growl from nearby.

How they both managed to hit their heads on that ridiculous low-hanging lantern was a mystery.


	10. Week Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone green-eyed personage who is definitely not jealous is headed for a Talk (capital letter not optional).

Ben was surprised to find Claire in front of the TV, looking very depressed.

“What's wrong?” he asked. “I thought you'd be happy with today off?”

“The school is having parents' days either side of it”, she sighed. “That means the dynamic duo will be going into school and talking to my teachers. And especially that awful Ms. Gilderheim. I swear, if she scowled any more, she'd drop all her chins on the floor!”

“Could she do that?” Ben asked, wide-eyed.

“Probably not”, she said. “More's the pity. But they'll be back soon, and then there'll be hell to pay.”

She was right. Sort of.

+~+~+

Dean stormed into the house which in itself was a bad sign, Claire thought. He usually spent half an hour slavering over that black monstrosity of a car of his, but not tonight.

“I cannot believe it!” he growled. “I was sat right next to you, and she still did it!”

Cas came in rather more quietly, smiling slightly.

“I cannot be held responsible for the actions of others”, he said calmly. “And Ms. Gilderheim was, perhaps, a tad too forward....”

“Forward?” Dean all but yelled. “'Oh hey honey, you seeing anyone just now?' And when I pointed out our rings and said we were happily married, she said she was up for multiple choice!”

“She wanted to give you a test?” Ben asked.

Both men turned bright red, and Claire tried to turn a laugh into a cough.

“It was blo.... blooming disgraceful!” Dean growled. “And as for that gym teacher, wearing those shorts to a parents' evening was worse. He was only after one thing.”

“What was that?” Ben asked.

“A talk with the two of us”, Cas said quickly. “Dean is just being very Dean. He will go and fetch dinner for us now as I do not think that we are in a state to cook much this evening, and later he and I will have.... a Talk.”

Claire did not think she had ever seen a man's face go that white so quickly. And the quivering lip was frankly pathetic.

“But.... but Cas.....”

“Go, Dean”, Cas said firmly. “Food now..... _Talk later._ ”

Claire could not help but snigger as Dean slunk out of the room. Cas stopped her with a look.

“And yes”, he said. “Despite some of your teachers needing behaviour lessons, we _did_ have some interesting discussions with several of them. We shall be having a conversation with _you_ about that tomorrow.”

“Making me wait till then?” she complained. “That's cruel.”

Cas smirked.

“Tonight I have Dean to deal with!”

“Ew! TMI, for heaven's sake!”


	11. Week Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets a cold sensation – twice in one day!

It had snowed since last Friday, to the unbridled joy of Claire as it meant that school was shut. Unfortunately some killjoy of an uncle had then told her that the school was emailing work for her to do while away, and yes, he _would_ be checking to make sure she did it.

She sympathized with Uncle Dean at times like this. 

+~+~+

Dean would not have described himself as hopelessly optimistic. However, sometimes.....

He had tried really hard not to let on what had happened, and even the horndogs at the garage had promised not to tell Cas (“unless he asks directly; I'm not lying to those puppy-dog eyes!” Ash had shivered). But fortunately it had all happened in the morning, and he had had the whole day to recover, so even if he was a little (a lot) sore still, he could cover it up.

The name 'Dean', it might be remembered, contains 66% of the letters in the word 'denial'.

Cas had said nothing all evening, not even raising an eyebrow when Dean had decided not to work out on his gym as he usually did most evenings for a while (well he had to work off all Cas' food somehow). And by the time they had gone to bed, Dean had really thought he had gotten away with it.

Right up to the moment when he was nestling comfortably into the sheets and...

Fortunately Cas' handily-positioned hand across his mouth cut off nearly all of the scream. Which was good, as no-one's hands should be that cold.

“What the fuck?”

“Language, Dean!” Cas scolded. “I heard about your little snowball fight this morning.”

Dean blushed fiercely.

“It was nothing much?” he muttered.

“Really?” Cas asked. “Then how come you have bruises on both buttocks, and you reacted so sharply when I put my hand on them?”

“What's with your hand?” Dean deflected.

“Cooling unguent”, Cas said. “I bought it on the way home, thinking you might be in poor shape tonight.”

“Aw.”

“After I heard how you got your butt kicked in a snowball fight.”

“Hey!”

“By a bunch of college students.”

“Not fair! They were damn mean!”

“One of them knows Claire's friend Alex”, Cas said, “so she told Claire and our niece told me.”

So that was why the girl had looked so smug at dinner that evening, and had grinned when Dean had sat down ever just a tad more slowly that usual. He was about to remark on that when he felt Cas' hand again.

“Oh that is so damn gooooood!”

“It warms as it works”, Cas said. “And I shall have to work it into your butt very thoroughly before you go to sleep, because I love you so much.”

“Aw.”

“Even if you did get said butt handed to you by a bunch of kids.”

“Cas!”


	12. Week Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are coats and cushions.

Dean had always loved the snow. Unfortunately what often came after, days of slushy pavements and water everywhere, was less welcome. But at least it always led to a surge in work at the garage, as people failed to understand that for some strange reason, cars took longer to stop in the wet.

“Those daffodils in the pots out front are already up”, Cas said at breakfast that morning. “I hope we don't get any more snow; it's not spring for another two weeks yet.”

“They'll survive”, Dean said confidently. “I can't believe you're still wearing that thin coat to work every day. You must be freezing!”

“Never mind”, Cas said. “I can always come home and cu.....”

Years of professorial training meant that he was able to hold back the smile at his husband's indignant look.

“And come to bed with my hot husband”, he finished.

“Hmph!”

“Who I will be fucking tonight while wearing just this coat. See you later, Dean.”

The mechanic was still struggling to recover his breathing when Claire walked in ready to go. She just looked at him and rolled her eyes.

“You're both terrible!” she sighed. “Come on.”

+~+~+

Miss Windermere paused as she passed around the table where four of her charges were busy drawing.

“That's very good, Ben”, she said. “Is that your house?”

“Yes”, the boy said proudly. “That's my daddy, that's my papa, and that's Claire, my..... she's daddy's cousin's daughter, so I don't know what that makes her.”

“She would be your second cousin”, the teacher smiled. “Is that your garden?”

“Yes”, the boy said proudly. “We have a lovely garden. Papa keeps it; he makes Daddy work on it too, even though he doesn't want to. But Papa just looks at him and that makes him do it.”

She smiled at that.

“Who are those people?” she asked, pointing at some other figures.

“That's my papa's brother Gabriel, his wife Kali and their baby Shweta”, he said. “They moved in next to us without asking. That was rude. Kali is expecting another baby soon, which is why she's so fat.”

She smiled again.

“And what are those?” she asked, pointing to some bright pink and blue blobs by a table.

“Cushions.”

“You keep cushions on the floor?” she asked, surprised.

“I was going to draw the basket they're kept in, but it's too hard”, the boy frowned. “Papa keeps them there for Daddy. Sometimes of a morning he comes down and feels very sore, so he needs cushions before he can sit down.”

Miss Windermere blushed bright red.

“Oh look at the clock", she said quickly. “Nap session, everyone!”


	13. Week Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course, Uncle Cas would never make Claire do something she didn't want to do.   
> Well, not exactly 'make'.....

Claire pouted.

“You were happy enough to be off school the other week”, Cas pointed out with annoying reasonableness. “It's just bad luck the same snows mean your first lessons have to be put back a week.”

“It's not as if I can't drive”, she grumbled.

The ticking of the clock was suddenly very loud. Too late, she realized what she'd just said.

“I mean, I watched Mom and Dad.”

A pair of blue eyes were burning into her from across the room. She knew that Dean and Ben were watching her too, but that azure gaze made her downright uncomfortable.

The clock's ticking was even louder.

“I, uh, may have practiced down a back-street on a friend's car once”, she admitted.

The stare continued. That clock needed seeing to.

“You should work down the police station with that thing!” she snapped. “Alright! I may have driven a few friends around on the odd occasion.”

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick......

“To Chicago!” she all but yelled. “Dammit!”

“Language!” Ben said disapprovingly.

She stormed off to her room.

+~+~+

The very next day, her honorary uncle's look was even more annoying. An overnight thaw had meant that school was open again, and she'd come home with a letter from her professor about her sitting her GEDs early because he was sure she'd sail through them. She just knew what Uncle Cas would say about that. 

Cas read the letter in silence, then handed it to Dean, who also read it. He looked back at his husband, who nodded at him.

“What do you want to do?” Cas asked.

She was surprised.

“I thought you'd want me to go for it?” she asked.

“We spoke with your parents”, Dean said, “and they would like you to put yourself up for it. But you're seventeen years old, and nearly an adult.”

“It's totally your choice”, Cas said calmly. “We shall respect whatever decision you make.”

She stared at him suspiciously.

“But you'll just give me that look until I do it anyway, won't you?” she pressed. “I've seen that; it's the same way you get Uncle Dean to do whatever you want.”

“Hey!” came a protest from someone in the vicinity.

“I am sure that I do not know _what_ you mean”, Cas said innocently. “As we said, we will respect your decision.”

And he was already doing it, looking hopefully at her in a 'we shall do what you decide but we would really rather you take one decision rather than another, pleeeease' sort of way. A whole year of that to look forward to? Ye gods, GEDs would be a piece of cake in comparison.

“I'll do it”, she said. “Just turn the look down a bit.”

“Good”, Cas smiled.

Dean's cough sounded suspiciously like he was hiding the word 'whipped', but she let it slide. If she was whipped, then so was he, because Cas only had to look at him to make him do just what he.....

Nope, not thinking about that!

Too late! Cas was already giving his husband the look that said tonight would be 'interesting' for someone..... and possibly noisy for someone else!


	14. Week Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a date, and Dean does not sulk. Whatever anyone says.

“Why is daddy sulking?”

Cas kept his head in the fridge to conceal his smirk. Although he knew that his husband would know it was there anyway.

“Daddy is _not_ sulking”, Dean told Ben huffily.

“You have that face that Mrs. Jones has at school when she is about to fa... break wind”, Ben said.

“I'm fine”, Dean said. “Or I will be when I get my pie.”

“Your daddy is just nervous about Claire going on her date with Jesse tonight”, the traitor with the blue eyes said. “And because I would not allow him to 'speak' with Jesse beforehand.”

“Speak to him about what?” Ben asked.

“His behaviour”, Dean said shortly.

“Does he behave badly?” Ben asked. “He seems nice, even if he is afraid of papa.”

“Jesse is not afraid of me”, Cas said. “Besides, I am his professor. He knows that I would always treat him in a professional manner, even if he is dating Claire.”

“I know how I'd like to treat him”, Dean muttered darkly.

“How's that?” asked a kid whose hearing was far too good.

“Dean would like to take Jesse out for a drink”, Cas said. “Perhaps one day all five of us may go for a meal or something. I am sure that daddy would behave himself.”

“Only because he's as scared of you as Jesse!” Ben said shortly.

Seriously, Dean thought, where did you take kids for a refund?

He shuddered. Cas was looking at him again.

+~+~+

“We're going bowling”, Claire said. “So we'll be back by eleven, because cosmic bowling starts at ten.”

“I like bowling”, Ben said.

Cas bit back a smile at the teenagers' horrified faces. Dean immediately spoke up.

“Maybe we could all....”

“Not tonight”, Cas said firmly. “I have a lot of work to do. Maybe we can arrange a Friday when Ben can come along.”

“I promise to have her back by eleven”, Jesse said, not hiding behind Claire to avoid his professor. Uh, bye all!”

The two almost fled to his car. Dean took a step after them, but a pointed cough from some blue-eyed bastard nearby stopped him. Dammit!


	15. Week Thirteen – I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben needs a new school. Dean needs a new ki.... Cas is looking at him again, dammit!

“So?” Dean asked.

Ben pursed his lips, and stared at his ice-cream.

“It seems okay”, he said. “I suppose.”

Dean did not do a high-five, and he did not whoop for joy. Besides, the darkening of a certain pair of blue eyes in the vicinity suggested that celebrations would come later, and that he would be needing one or more cushions tomorrow.

Life was good!

+~+~+

The reason for the couple's elation was that, finally, they had found a school that their son approved of. The first had had goodish reviews but Ben had hated it, and both Cas and Dean had found its classrooms dull if not sterile. The second was okay, but at least three of the female teachers and one of the male ones had ogled Cas' butt, and fortunately Ben had disliked the place, so that was out. And now it was third time lucky, a school not too far from the garage that their son was okay with (with only one ogling teacher). Dean was sure Ben would come to love his school days. He himself had.

Why was Cas giving him that knowing look?

“We'll have to make a special shopping trip to buy all the things you'll need”, Cas said, producing several sheets of paper stapled together. “The school has a list of it all.”

“Cas, we're sending him to school”, Dean objected. “Not Mars!”

“Do they have schools on Mars?” Ben asked.

“There is no atmosphere for people to breathe at the moment, so no”, Cas said dryly. “I think a more local school would be better for now. And you will be able to choose a theme for what you want, so you can have everything Thor, or Iron Man, or Captain America. Whatever you want.”

“I like Star Trek”, Ben said. “They're good. Better than Star Wars.”

Dean was wondering whether they could take the kid back when he caught Cas giving him a look again. He gulped.

+~+~+

“You two are awful!” Claire complained the following morning. “I had to use the upstairs bathroom last night, and the noises.... what do you get up to in there?” 

“Would you like details?” Cas asked sweetly.

She gave him such a look! And when Dean chose that moment to limp into the kitchen, uttering a small squeak of pain at every step, she just glared down at her cereal. Men these days!


	16. Week Thirteen – II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben has a birthday, and Cas 'mis-speaks'.

It was Ben's birthday, which meant that the kid nearly fell downstairs in his eagerness to get to his present. The other three looked up at his noisy entrance into the kitchen.

“Happy fifth birthday, Ben”, Cas smiled. “And a weekend this year, so no school.”

“Yay! Is that my present?”

There was a large box about a foot square at his place. Dean nodded.

“Open it, son”, he said, not getting the least bit misty-eyed at using the s-word. Cas passed him a tissue anyway.

Ben surprised them all by carefully opening the present, to reveal a small box. His eyes lit up.

“This is from all three of us”, Cas explained. “It's a basic phone, and Claire's part of the present is that she's put some extra credit on it for you. We'll top it up from time to time as and when you do you chores around the house.”

“Why don't I get that sort of present?” Claire asked.

“Well, we could always stop your allowance and do that inste....”

“I'm fine”, she cut in.

“The phone also has an emergency number for when you need to phone one of us”, Cas said, showing it to his son. “Simply press the red button, and you'll be connected to either my phone or daddy's. But only use it if you have to.”

“Wow!” Ben said. “Thanks.”

“And there will be cake later”, Cas said, “when we invite Benny and his family over for tea.”

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again.

“Oh sorry”, Cas said without even looking at his husband. “I meant cake _and pie._ ”

The others laughed. Dean did not care, so long as he got his pie. Priorities here!

+~+~+

The only downside of his son's birthday, Dean decided, was that he was to take in a bag of mini chocolate bars into his nursery with him on the Monday after, and some mean husband would not allow him to have any. And the same mean husband then went and left them out on the top in the kitchen, so that Dean was tempted every time he just happened to walk by them. But he was strong enough to resist such temptation, so there.

The fact that the last time he'd failed, Cas had withheld sex for a whole. Friggin'. Week! Seven days, which was... a whole lot of hours, without sex. It had been incredibly hard.

In both senses!


	17. Week Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring is a time for daffodils.

Gabriel Novak scowled as he lay there on his front. When, oh when, oh when would he learn to stop underestimating his devious, sneaky, evil little brother? 

Okay, so maybe the original April Fool's Joke had been his – it would've been damn funny, that bucket of custard falling on his brother (or even better, his sappy brother-in-law) as one of them entered the garage – but this was just cruel. I mean, a spring-loaded board in the garden with 'Do Not Step Here'? And when Gabriel had of course stepped on it, it had catapulted him miles into the air. Which was why he was now in hospital having to hope his insurance covered whatever fractures he'd picked up.

And to make things worse, some nurse had come in just now and said they were worried about his temperature and needed to check it. When Gabriel had opened his mouth, she'd smirked and said, 'other end, dearie'. And then her thingy had bleeped and she'd had to rush off somewhere. The last thing she'd said to him? 'Don't go anywhere'. Hah!

The door opened, and it was not the nurse returning. Worse, it was a smirking little brother, Gabriel gave him the sort of glare which, if there had been any justice in the world, would have felled him on the spot. Unfortunately it did not. 

“Smile!” Cas grinned. And before Gabriel could do anything, he'd whipped out his phone and taken a picture of him. His brother scowled at him.

“Never seen anyone had their temperature took before?” he snapped.

“Oh, several times”, Cas grinned. “But never.... with a daffodil!”

Gabriel went pale, and reached round to extract what was not, in fact a thermometer.

“Cassie!!!”

+~+~+

Only a bad little brother would have texted said photo to all Gabriel's friends and relatives before leaving the hospital. A truly bad one would have used some computer genius friend to hack into Gabriel's social media accounts and change his picture to, ahem, a more flowery one. A downright evil one would have also passed the picture onto the local newspaper.

Correct, all of the above. There would be no more April Fool's jokes from next door.


	18. Week Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is an unfortunate encounter in a park.

Let it be said here and now that Dean Winchester was not afraid of his husband. 

Look, it really depended ever so slightly on exactly how one defined the word 'afraid'. Still, at least today that terrible blue stare was being directed across the sheriff's office at two women – at least, Dean thought they were women, although with the masonry-level application of Maybelline that they had both troweled on that morning, he was not a hundred per cent sure – who were still screeching about constitutional rights.

“Silence!” bellowed Sheriff Mills, and thankfully the two harridans zipped it. “Now, Ms. Durham and Ms. Handler have alleged that Miss Novak assaulted them while they were protesting a military event in the park.”

Claire opened her mouth to defend herself, saw Cas' look, and shut it quickly. Dean did not smirk, but it was close.

“We were protesting a blatant display of unnecessary militarism”, the purple-lipped harridan shrieked, and she had a voice as ugly as her face. “That's our constitutional right.”

“To protest”, Sheriff Mills countered. “However, you went further. You assaulted a distinguished veteran who was sat there minding his own business.”

“He was in military uniform”, the one with enough nose- and ear-metal to have started a small scrap-iron business yelped. “And that girl attacked us!”

“But you attacked him first”, the sheriff pointed out.

“Well, unfortunately for you, the young gentleman accompanying the girl recorded the whole thing on his phone”, the sheriff said with a smile. Dean noted at once how both women's faces fell (although with the number of chins on the purple-lipped one, it was hard to tell). “And we have analyzed that footage. To answer your next question, yes; we have tested to see if it had been edited, and it had not been. Deputy, please escort these two.... women to the cells.”

Shrieking, the harridans were all but dragged away. Claire let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks for coming, Uncle Cas, Uncle Dean”, she said.

“We were glad to”, Cas smiled. “And tonight, you can explain to us exactly what you and Jesse were doing out of school at such a time.”

Her face fell.

+~+~+

“I don't get it”, Lieutenant Ben said later, as the three of them sat over coffee at his house. “What is it with some people these days?”

“I rather suspect that the fault lies with a colleague of mine”, Cas said with a sigh. “Both those.... females are students at the college, in Ms. Birkin's class. To call her opinionated would be to pass up the chance to use the word 'bigoted'.”

“I bet she's the only one who never made a pass at you, Cas”, Dean grinned.

His husband's slow smile was unnerving.

“Oh come on!” Dean protested. “What's the point of being a rabid feminist if you're gonna simper at every male professor?”

“She did not simper at _every_ professor”, Castiel smirked. “Only the one.”

The lieutenant laughed at Dean's pou..... cross face.


	19. Week Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no Dean Disaster so bad that things can't be made even worse.

Lord help him, Dean was in deep shit!

“So”, Cas said as the mechanic cooked dinner one evening.

Dean shuddered involuntarily. It was unfair that his professor of a husband could put so much menace into a two-letter word.

“Something wrong?” Dean asked (his calm demeanor might have been more believable had his voice been at least two octaves lower). Cas smiled.

“You know Benny's boy Peterson started at the nursery today?”

Dean relaxed slightly.

“Yeah, you told me. Benny and Andrea must have been a right mess, I'll bet.”

Distraction was not going to work. Cas was giving him a Look.

“Well, Peterson is the only black child there”, Cas said. “And when it came to collecting them at the end of the day, one of the other parents made a racist remark about him.”

“Bet Missouri was mad about that”, Dean observed, pointedly not looking at his husband.

“She was”, Cas said. “And she was also interested in the response of one of the other boys present, who remarked very loudly that some people could not help being born dicks.”

Dean chuckled, only to realize he was still getting the Look. Finally he twigged.

“Uh, Ben?” he ventured.

“Uh, Ben”, Cas echoed. “And when his teacher told him that such language was not really acceptable, Ben said it had to be, because his father who had dropped him off that morning had taught him it.”

Dean risked a look at a clearly not amused professor.

“Oopsie?” he offered.

Cas' eyes darkened.

“Someone needs certain lessons in what not to say at certain times”, he said heavily. “So tonight we shall be using the gag.”

Dean tried not to breathe a sigh of relief. That was not so bad....

“And the _large_ vibrator.”

Dean gulped.

+~+~+

“Why is daddy eating his breakfast standing up?” Ben asked next morning.

Dean went bright red.

“Daddy had to do a lot of work yesterday”, Cas told him. “He is just a little sore.”

A little? Dean's pants actually _hurt!_

“Maybe Daddy could have one of those bubble baths he has when you're out?” Ben said.

Dean stared at his son in horror. The little traitor!

 _“Oh does he?”_ Cas said with a smile that portended all sorts of bad things for someone in the vicinity. “Well, I must make sure that Daddy gets _exactly_ what he needs!”

Dean was not a religious man, but he was suddenly into praying. Big time!


	20. Week Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean loves Cas, but hates cold hard concrete floors!

It had cost Dean two weeks' - _two friggin' weeks'!_ \- beer allowance to get him out of the mess that some blabbermouth son had gotten him into, and all that lovely money that should have gone down his throat had instead been wast.... spent on plants. Plants, plants and more bloody plants. Cas had wanted to add yet more bee-friendly greenery to his garden, and Dean had had to help him plant them. And no, any promise of sex with Cas wearing glasses that may or may not have occurred at the same time had had no effect on his willingness whatsoever.

After half a day helping out his husband, Dean was allowed to spend some time sorting out the garage – no Claire, it was not 'go play in the garage', nor was he whipped for having to wait all morning to do it, thank you very much – and he had great fun sorting out all the crap that seemed to amass there of its own volition. By last afternoon he had a much cleaner and emptier garage – which lasted less than an hour because Cas wanted to move some stuff into it. For the promise of adding the waistcoat to the glasses Dean graciously consented, even if he 'missed' some horrible female relative rolling her eyes at him for so doing.

The depressing thing about gardening, Dean had long ago decided, was weeds. Little fu.... Cas was looking at him already; little _blighters_ grew up everywhere, and it was Dean's job to keep the paths clear of them. And he had had to repair the guttering as well! By the time evening came, he was too wrecked to even move, let alone think about sex with someone who, irritatingly, looked as fresh as a daisy. And two kids who chuckled when he fell asleep at the dinner-table was just pushing it.

He took it all back the following day though, when Benny invited Ben over for a sleepover as part of Peterson's birthday celebrations, and Claire told them that she would be out till eleven on a date with Jesse. Though when she whispered to Cas, 'Don't break him' as she left, that was quite unnecessary. The way Cas had looked at him afterwards, though – well, a less manly man that Dean would have whined in terror.

Look, it was a high-pitched cough, dammit!

Dean did not remember the rest of that day. He did, however, remember the sniggers and chortles from his soon to be ex-friends at work the day after, when he had lain down a little too quickly on the bloody hard and bloody cold concrete floor, and had let out a very manly if somewhat loud yelp of pai..... surprise.


	21. Week Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire makes a horrifying discovery.

Claire Novak had learned that there were certain rules about living in the Winchester household. For example, to avoid using the upstairs bathroom except for emergencies, as the noises coming from the nearby bedroom were.... come on, how on earth could Dean hit those high notes? And to not ask when the mechanic limped downstairs in very poor shape, or squeaked in pain when he sat down on a hard surface. Nope, ignorance was bliss where those two were concerned.

But even the most careful people make mistakes sometimes.

+~+~+

The washing-machine had broken down and while Dean could fix it, he needed a part that he had had to order online. That meant three days without a machine but still with two kids, so Cas took a huge load down to the local laundromat in order that they didn't fall behind. 

He had just returned when the phone rang, so Claire decided to help out by sorting the clothes out for him. Cas was away some time, and returned to find the job done. He smiled at her.

“Thank you”, he said. “Kali had to go into hospital with chest pains, and that was Gabriel in full panic mode. It turns out it was less the early arrival of the next generation and more her grandmother's curry recipe!”

She smiled at that.

“By the way”, she said, “you picked up a bit of someone else's laundry.”

Cas frowned.

“I'm sure I was careful”, he said. “What was it?”

She grinned and held up a large pair of blue lacy panties with white fringes.

“Someone is definitely gonna miss these”, she said.

Only slowly was she aware that he was looking at her rather curiously, and that the clock in the kitchen seemed unnaturally loud. But if these were not someone else's, then....

“Oh my god, that's gross! You in panties?”

Cas grinned even wider.

“They're not _my_ size”, he said.

Seriously, this was her life?

“I am disowning the pair of you!”

+~+~+

Even when she was in bed that night, she could still see the image on the insides of her eyelids. Ew ew ew ew ew!


	22. Week Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is on the end of a lot of dirty looks.

“Extra treat today”, Dean said as he opened the small fridge in the garage. “Cas baked us all pie.”

Bobby, Cain, Benny and Ash all stared at him.

“Who are you and what the hell have you done with Dean Winchester?” Cain demanded.

“Ha freakin' ha!” Dean snipped. “Cas just decided that y'all deserve a treat for a change.”

They all continued to stare at him.

“Son”, Bobby said slowly, “are you... alright?”

“There's gotta be a catch”, Ash said. “Dean Winchester giving up pie. Wait a minute – Cas has baked you a second one for tonight, hasn't he?”

“Nope”, Dean said. “He made just the one. Cut into five, and he got a bag of sweets for Krissy because of her allergy.”

“And you're just giving it to us?” Benny asked, clearly confused. Then his face went pale. “Oh fuck no!”

“What is it?” Cain asked.

“I just worked out what Cas must've promised to make him hand it over!” Benny moaned.

Dean just grinned.

“Son”, Bobby said firmly, “not a bloody word!”

+~+~+

So they liked the pie?” Cas asked later that evening.

“Mwah?”

No wonder the horny bastard had made him give the guys the pie on a Friday. Dean would not be up to doing anything physical for the whole of tomorrow, and probably most of Sunday. Still, at least it would get him out of going shopping.

“No it won't”, Cas said, demonstrating again that freaky mind-reading ability of his. “Claire has that display event at her school tomorrow, and you promised to drive her. And while she's there you can come back and take me and Ben to the mall.”

“Can't you do it?” Dean not-whined. “Have pity on the poor invalid.”

A pair of blue eyes loomed over him, above the sort of smirk that made Dean's insides squirm.

“Or I could always do that thing with the feather again?”

Dean Winchester, the manliest man ever to man in a manly-like manner, cried for mercy.

+~+~+

The following day Claire glared at him all the way to school!


	23. Week Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is not whipped. Yet....

By the middle of the following week Dean had pretty much recovered, although he knew that Cas was planning something for that Friday. Ben was having another sleepover at Benny's across the road – Dean's fellow mechanic had been pleased to see the two boys bond, and had provisionally applied for a place for Peterson at Ben's new school the following year – and Claire was having a sleepover at a friend's house. And yes, Cas had had Charlie check the friend out to make sure she was not slipping off for a date with Jesse without telling them, and no, Dean had not been allowed to say anything. But that didn't mean he was whipped.

He was sure his own damn reflection was sniggering at him from the mirror. He scowled at it and left to wait for his husband. 

Cas had some sort of special day at college and annoyingly, Claire knew about it and wouldn't tell him what it was about, though she did share some photos from her phone with Ben. Dean saw her off when Jill and her parents came round to collect her, and then walked Ben across the road before returning to wait for his husband. Cas had allowed him pizza and ice-cream that night so that neither of them had to cook and.... dammit, he really was whipped. 

It was odd that Dean should have had that particular thought.

+~+~+

Cas drove into the garage and called through the open door:

“I picked up the pizzas. Have you got the ice-cream, Dean?”

“Ready to serve”, his husband called back. “You didn't say what was so special about work today?”

His husband walked through the door – and Dean's jaw dropped.

“The professors each dressed as a literary or film character”, Cas grinned. “Like it?”

Cas. As Indy. Complete with bull-whip. Dean was gonna diiiiiiiiiie!

+~+~+

“Where's Uncle Dean?” Claire asked when she came in the following day.

“Upstairs”, Cas smiled. “Sleeping.”

“Why's daddy sleeping so early?” Ben asked curiously.

Claire had been wondering that too – until she saw the slow smile dawning on Cas' face. She winced.

“You two are awful!” she scolded.

“What's up?” Ben asked.

“I'll tell you when you're older”, she said. “Honestly, it's like living with a couple of.... of....”

“Teenagers?” Cas suggested.

She flounced off to to her homework. Even algebra was better than those two!

Unfortunately she caught Dean at the top of the stairs coming out of his bedroom, uttering a plaintive cry at every step as he limped to the bathroom. And the dazed smile on his face.... ew!

She fled to the relative safety of her schoolbooks.


	24. Week Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there is such a thing as too much pie!

Ben sat on the couch and moaned.

“Here”, Cas said, giving his husband a sharp look. “Drink this. It will make you feel better.”

“May even teach you to be not so greedy in future”, Claire said unsympathetically.

“Daddy said that there was no such thing as too much pie”, Ben moaned. “My tummy hurts!”

“Well, you don't have such a big tummy as Daddy”, Cas said with a smile.

Claire counted to six before Dean's offended look appeared. Although she noted that he did move to pull his shirt down a bit.

“You lied, Daddy!” Ben said accusingly.

“Daddy just wanted you to have what you and he liked”, Cas said. “And he is quite proud that you managed all of that second slice.”

“Briefly”, Claire put in. Dean glared at her.

“But because Daddy loves you so much, he will be giving up pie until you are better, just to say sorry”, Cas said firmly.

This time Claire only got to three.

+~+~+

“Anyone for dessert?” Cas asked the following day.

“I'll have some pie, please”, Claire said, pointedly not seeing the evil glare she got from a certain mechanic in the vicinity. 

“Are you feeling better, Ben?” Dean asked anxiously.

“May I have some ice-cream, please?” Ben asked. “I don't feel up to having pie yet.”

How Claire did not laugh at someone's miserable face was something that should have ranked alongside the loaves and fishes thing in Great Miracles In History.

“But I think you should give daddy some pie”, Ben said.

“ _That's_ my boy!” Dean said proudly.

“If only because it stops him looking like he can't poop!” Claire muttered.

Dean was too busy inhaling his pie to reprimand her.


	25. Week Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is some devious politicking.

Lieutenant Ben stared at Cas.

“They want what?” he managed eventually.

“A dozen or so state officials were going to fly to Washington DC to lobby on behalf of Texas”, Cas said. “But someone leaked news of the 'junket' to the press, and they had to cancel. Except they've already paid for the flights, so someone suggested flying veterans instead and arranging a trip to Arlington Cemetery. I know you said that your grandfather was buried there and that you always wanted to go so I put your name forward, and it was accepted.”

Ben quite blatantly handed the lieutenant a tissue, and the young man wiped his eyes with it.

“We'll pop over and keep and eye on the house for you”, Cas promised. “The flight is the day before Memorial Day, and they return on Sunday evening so you've some time away. And we'll help you with anything you need to get for it, if you want.”

“You're good friends”, the lieutenant smiled.

+~+~+

“So?” Dean asked later.

“So what?”

Dean moved behind his husband at the sink and wrapped his arms around him.

“Don't play the innocent with me, Professor Novak”, he said. “The chances of anyone in government giving up a free trip even if it was exposed in the media is about the same as Ash not getting drunk of a weekend. Spill!

Cas smiled.

“Charlie may have helped me with certain incriminating information about certain of those officials”, he said. “Two of them were involved in fraud.”

“That's not so bad”, Dean said.

“A third had two wives in different parts of the state”, Cas went on. “Another was into dressing-up as farm animals in a way that people might consider a tad unhealthy, especially considering how he then used his costume. And as for the one who had four love-children each in a different state.....”

“Who was that?” Dean asked.

Cas told him. His husband's eyebrows shot up.

“What, the same one who's always moralizing about 'dang rednecks marrying their kin', and slams down the country at every opportunity?”

“That's the one”, Cas said. “It's going to be really unfortunate when, the day after the lieutenant gets back, someone inadvertently emails a folder on him to every media outlet in the great state of Texas!”

“Oh dear”, Dean said flatly. “How very unfortunate!”


	26. Week Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What goes around.....

Claire looked in surprise at the small red-and-yellow flowering plant in the middle of the kitchen table.

“You bought just one plant?” she asked.

“Dean got it for me”, Cas said as he cooked dinner.

“Is it an anniversary or something?” she asked.

“No”, Cas smiled. “He just likes to get me random presents from time to time to show how much he loves me.”

She thought about commenting on that but said nothing. Cas smiled.

“I know”, he said. “He had Charlie install an app on his phone that reminds him to give me things throughout the year. It was sweet of him.”

“How do you know that?” she asked.

“I took his phone once by mistake”, Cas said, “and it sent me the reminder. Fortunately I was able to pretend I hadn't noticed it and was appropriately surprised by the chocolates he got me that evening.”

“Bet you have the same thing on your phone”, she grinned.

“Paper diary entries, done every New Year's Day”, Cas said. “The point is relationships need to be tended, like plants. Otherwise they die.”

“I suppose”, she said.

“By the way”, Cas said, “how are the driving lessons going?”

She was grateful that he had his back to her as he cooked so he missed her slight blush.

“Oh, just fine”, she said airily.

“Except I read today that a learner was involved in an accident yesterday evening”, Cas said. “It seems that they were on that new rotary on the edge of town, then panicked and were unable to get off.”

She scowled at him.

“Dammit, do you have to know everything?” she demanded.

“Yes.”

She sighed. She was actually beginning to sympathize with poor Dean, totally whipped and living with this nerdy know-all who.....

Why was her uncle nodding like that?


	27. Week Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean draws the line at the g-word.

“You know, it's not nice to gloat.”

Dean looked at his husband.

“Come on”, he not-whined. “You gotta give me a pass on this one. Please!”

Cas smiled.

“So how did it go?” he asked.

“We got Kali to the hospital well enough, and boy, was she in a mood! She was telling Gabe all about what she would do to him if he ever got her this way again.”

Cas just looked at him.

“Okay, taking notes may have been pushing it”, Dean admitted reluctantly. “But the look on his face! I mean they've got Shweta, so he must've known what was coming. But when the first kid came out, he went down like he'd been felled."

Cas looked at him. Again.

“Yeah, I took photos.”

The look continued.

“My new phone wallpaper, since you ask; I'll send them to you later. Then I had to hold Kali's hand – and boy, she's got a grip like a politician holding onto an expenses account! - until the girl came out. Your brother was flat out for at least another hour afterwards."

Cas was still looking at him. Dean sighed.

“I did suggest throwing a bucket of water over him, but the nurses there wouldn't let me”, he admitted. “Spoilsports. Kali was all for it, though.”

“Did you reassure her about Shweta?” Cas asked.

“Yes, mom”, Dean sighed. “Benny took her across to Andrea while we were getting Gabe and Kali into his car; thank the Lord he brought such a huge 4X4.”

“You mean the thought of Kali giving birth in Baby”, Cas guessed.

Dean shuddered.

“Still, all's well now”, he said. “And I've lots of embarrassing pictures of your brother, which is a good bonus.”

Cas just shook his head at him.

+~+~+

Kali wasn't allowed home until the following Monday, which was good as things turned out as it meant Dean and the guys from the garage could get into her house the day before and finish off painting the nursery for them (which included a wonderful picture of Gabriel's face when he had been handed a paint-brush!). Dean and Cas took their own kids and Shweta to see Kali in hospital, and Claire in particular cooed over the new arrivals, Richard and Miri, which made Dean think that she would make a natural moth.....

Cas was looking at him again. 

“What?” Dean asked.

“That would make us honorary grandparents”, Cas reminded him.

Dean glared at him. Over his dead body!


	28. Week Twenty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has not one but two revelations, and Dean has a Hallmark moment.

Sarah Blake was downstairs making coffee when it happened. A terrible keening sound from her bedroom which made her sprint up the stairs in record time to find Sam Winchester curled up on the bed in her room, whining piteously. And the camera that she used for work lying next to him.

“What's wrong?” she asked, worried.

He shuddered and looked at her through wide eyes.

“I was using the zoom to look at someone down the road”, he managed, his voice little more than a whisper, “and I caught something move in my brother's house. So I.... I turned to look and.... and....”

She stared at him in confusion.

“And what?” she asked.

“He suddenly pulled back the curtains!” Sam whined.

“So?” 

Sam shook again.

“He was naked! And Cas was behind him and.... and.....”

Ah.

“So now you know why I don't draw back the curtains until I know they're both up”, she grinned. “Although it seems you've seen them both 'up' anyway.”

He cried piteously.

+~+~+

“Serves you right, Sammy-boy”, Dean said when his brother came round later. “If you'd come here first without slipping in next door to see your girlfriend, Cas would've made sure the curtains stayed shut. He's considerate like that.”

“But not you”, Sam snarked. “Dean, you're disgusting! There are few things worse than seeing your own brother being..... well, seeing that!”

“It could have been worse”, Dean pointed out.

Sam glared at him.

“How?” he demanded.

Dean grinned mischievously.

“Well, I could have been wearing those blue and white lacy panties”, he said, enjoying his brother's abject look of horror as he spoke. “Or even the green and black matching negligée set.”

Sam had already fled.

+~+~+

A certain blue-eyed professor who had absolutely _no_ sense of humor insisted on Dean apologizing to his brother. Even worse, Dean also had to take Sammy to the one place in town that served salads! Honestly! The mechanic pouted all the way but it was still worth it. Especially as, just as he said goodbye back at the house, he 'accidentally' leaned over the car and let his brother catch sight of his blue lacy choice of undergarments that day.

Who knew that Hallmark did an 'I am formally disowning you!' card?


	29. Week Twenty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone gets lots of free publicity – whether they want it or not.

There were, Dean felt, very few certainties in the world. One that could always be relied upon however was the absolute stupidity of government.

“How the hell could they 'forget' to pay Lieutenant Ben in this day and age?” he groused. “I mean they've been paying him for months. It's all electronic these days I thought.”

“He said that he had to go in for a six-monthly review”, Cas said, “and the doctor who did it decided that he had improved considerably and needed less money. So she stopped his payments while they recalculated them.”

 _“Improved?”_ Dean scoffed. “How? They think his leg's gonna start growing back or something.

“The doctor involved was a Ms. Bihar”, Cas said.

Dean looked at him.

“Should that name mean something?” he asked.

“Charlie did some research on her”, he said. “She was one of those at the anti-military protest outside the town hall earlier this year.”

“And the military employed her anyway?” Dean asked, aghast.

“Her partner is a military contractor”, Cas sighed. “The old story; it's not what you know but who you know.”

“Tell me Charlie's got something on the cow”, Dean begged.

Claire snorted from across the table. Cas have his husband was what definitely a Disapproving Look. There may or may not have been trembling (there was).

“Sorry”, Dean muttered.

“That is the worse part”, Cas said. “She's been doing this for nearly a decade now. Lieutenant Ben isn't her first victim. There have been over twenty others.”

“High time someone exposed her for the co.... unpleasant person she is”, Dean said firmly.

“Normally I would agree that telling the media about her would be punishment enough”, Cas agreed. “But this clearly goes some way up. Those she reported to must have suspected, and they did nothing. Charlie and I will... take the appropriate action.

+~+~+

“How the hell did you manage it?” Dean asked the next day. “You must have covered every free billboard in town!”

“I said we would expose her”, Cas grinned. “And what better exposure that for her and her shameless superiors to be on all the main roads into town – including the one she drives to work on. There's a fascinating shot on the Net of her house being surrounded by reporters all anxious to hear her thoughts on the subject - and probably the first time in her life she didn't want to share them.”

“Serves her right!” Dean said forcibly.


	30. Week Twenty-Seven – I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pass!

Dean was sure that Cas was really as nervous as he himself, but that his professor husband was just hiding it better. Dean, on the other hand, was sat there pretending to watch the TV, but even if Doctor Sexy had been on, his juddering knee showed his true state of mind.

Finally there was the sound of a car pulling up outside, and footsteps approaching the front door. A key in the lock and Claire came into the front room. That had to be a good sign Dean thought; if it had been bad news she would have gone to her room to have some 'alone time'.

“Well?” Dean asked impatiently.

Her face was initially expressionless but then a smile broke out.

“I passed!” she all but yelled. 

“I'll get the cake and pie”, Cas said, standing up.

“You were that sure of me?” she smiled.

“There was also a consolation bar of chocolate in case you didn't”, Cas said. “I bought two, as I knew that Dean would eat the one left in the kitchen.”

Dean huffed indignantly. They both looked at him.

“I didn't want it to spoil”, he said not at all defensively.

It spooked him more than a little that Claire was mastering the same judgmental silence that Cas had long perfected. Oh well. It had been good chocolate.

+~+~+

Cas got Jimmy and Amelia up on Skype and they shared in their daughter's good news.

“Well, we're proud of you”, Jimmy said. “We've talked it over with Cas and Dean and we're wiring you some money to buy yourself your own car....”

“Woohoo!”

They all smiled at her enthusiasm.

“Dean can check it out for you”, Cas said, “and give it a full service before you take it out on the road.”

“What do I get for that?” his husband asked.

“Payment is one bar of chocolate”, Cas said crisply. “Oh wait – you had that already!”

Dean pouted. They all laughed at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update on Wednesday.


	31. Week Twenty-Seven – II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Professor Novak, Grand Master of Insincerity.

“Oh dear.”

Dean looked up at once. Whenever Cas used his 'absolutely zero sincerity' voice, it often led to trouble.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Remember the trouble we had with that awful Ms. Bihar last month?” he said.

Dean winced.

“All too well”, he said. “The fact they didn't sack her immediately was disgusting, but they had to when the story went viral on the Net.”

“It seems some of her friends had been planning to disrupt the Independence Day picnic in the park today.”

Dean smiled at the memory. The four of them had gone to the park with a genuine picnic out of a huge basket, and he had even been allo.... been lucky enough to find two slices of pie!

“Yeah?” he said. “I didn't see them.”

“Well, there was a reason for that”, Cas said. “Apparently someone got wind of what they were planning, and that someone then applied superglue to all the windows and doors of the house they were meeting in beforehand.”

“Didn't they call 911?” Dean wondered.

“For some strange reason none of their phones worked”, Cas said, looking hard at his husband. “Quite inexplicable.”

Dean swallowed hard.

“Do I need to have a conversation with Charlie sometime in the near future?” Cas asked dryly.

“Better not”, Dean advised. “What you don't know can't hurt you.”

Cas just shook his head at him.

+~+~+

A perfect two-slice Independence Day was topped off that afternoon with the news that the vile Ms. Bihar was moving to California and the evening was even better as Dean was allowed a prolonged Doctor Sexy session, in which he graciously allowed his husband to hold him in a manly-like manner and glared at Claire and Ben every time they sniggered at the pair of them. Kids these days!


	32. Week Twenty-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a colorful experience.

Dean stared in horror at the multicolored excuse for a road vehicle in front of him. He had seen some lame cars in his time but this one took the pie.

“You can't buy a Spamcan!” he objected.

“It's a Citroen 2CV and they're cool just now”, Claire said. “I love it and I can afford it. Uncle Cas said that the choice should be mine, didn't he?”

“Well, yeah, but.... that's pretty much a sardine can with ideas of being a real car! It's almost as bad as Cas' pimpmobile!”

“I'll tell him you said that.”

He laughed at her. His face fell when she didn't laugh back.

“You're serious!” he said, clearly shocked.

“Let me buy this, or I'm texting him in the next five minutes.”

Dean sighed. This was his life?

+~+~+

“I think it's lovely”, Cas said later. “And once Dean has given it a complete service you can take it out for a drive.”

“Why not send him straight down there with it now?” Claire asked. “He always does what you tell him!”

There was a huff from someone in the next room (but not a denial, Claire noted). Cas shook his head.

“Dean has the day off”, he said.

She pouted. He chuckled.

“You look just like Dean when he's being denied pie”, he said.

There was an even louder huff from the next room and the sound of someone standing up.

“I'll ask Bobby about giving it a proper paint job”, Dean said, coming into the kitchen. “What color would you like?”

“I like the pastel rainbow”, she said. He stared at her in horror.

“Come on!” he protested. “It's bad enough that you have to drive round in a glorified sardine can in the first place.....”

“Hey!”

“But one that looks like it should have a clown at the wheel? What're people gonna say?”

“Just for that, I'm leaving it on the driveway for everyone to see”, she said.

Dean opened his mouth to say something.

“No”, Cas said firmly. “I'm not leaving my car out there so Claire's can be in the garage. But you could always leave the Impala outside.”

The look of stunned horror on his husband's face was priceless. There was even the famous Quivering Lip. Cas held it together for an impressive thirty seconds before smiling.

“Not to worry”, he said. “I spoke to Cap and he's offered Claire use of the other half of his garage while she's here.”

They both 'missed' Dean's poorly suppressed sigh of relief.


	33. Week Twenty-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Husband Management 101

“Is Daddy okay?”

Cas paused as he finished tying Ben's shoes.

“Yes”, he said. “Why do you ask, Ben?”

“Only we're going shopping and daddy doesn't look sad”, Ben said. “He always looks sad when he has to go to the mall, although he tries to pretend he's okay with it.”

“Daddy thinks he is going to get a new TV out of this trip”, Claire grinned. “And he's always good when he's been promised something.”

“I might even give him something later as well”, Cas said slyly.

“What is that?” Ben asked.

“Er, pie”, Claire cut in quickly, glaring at her relative. “Definitely pie.”

Ben narrowed his eyes at her but fortunately his papa had gotten him ready by then and it was time to go. Though the boy did wonder why Claire was rolling her eyes like that.

+~+~+

“I can't believe Dean agreed to buy the cheaper model”, Claire said later, once they had got Ben to bed. “I mean, I know it was half the price but he really wanted that super-expensive one.”

“Dean really wants a lot of things”, Cas said. “When you are married, Claire, you will learn that part of marriage is rationing things out so that your husband only gets _some_ of the things that he wants.”

“Ew!”

“I meant as regards TVs and the like”, Cas said innocently. “Your mind!”

“Don't try that look with me”, she said firmly. “I'm not as gullible as the guy sulking upstairs just now. So how did you persuade him?”

(Part of being a teenager is knowing when to ask certain questions and, equally importantly, when _not_ to ask certain other questions. Claire Novak, unfortunately for her, had not quite mastered this important lesson).

“Remember when I took him for a short chat when he was not-whining about my decision?” Cas asked.

“Yeah?”

“I did sort of promise him something in lieu of his more expensive TV.”

“Ew again! I'm keeping my door locked tonight - and the earplugs in!”

“I meant extra pie”, Cas grinned. “That's why Dean is still sleeping it off upstairs.”

She shook her head at him but smiled.


	34. Week Thirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rain stops play.

The best laid schemes o' mice an' men, Robert Burns once said, gang aft agley (well he was Scottish). But such times also show what some people are really made of.

Cas and Dean had been planning to take their family down to Galveston for an extended week, Saturday to the following Sunday, but the weather had most definitely put a spoke in those plans. A major hurricane had flattened much of the Caribbean and then slammed into the Texas coast, before gradually losing power as it had roared inland, leaving a trail of devastation as far as Fort Hood. 

“We should go down late next month”, Cas said. “Things will be cleared up by then, and businesses will be desperate for people to come and spend money.”

“But what are we gonna do this week?” Dean asked. “I mean, Bobby's got cover all arranged, so I'm off anyway.”

Cas hesitated.

“What is it?” Claire asked.

“Lieutenant Ben knows someone in Fort Hood”, Cas said slowly. “He's arranging help for those areas around the edge of the affected area – in particular sorting out roads and bridges, so aid can get through to worse affected areas – and he said if we could ask around for volunteers.”

“I'm sure Bobby could spare someone”, Dean said.

“Of course I said we couldn't go”, Cas said, “because of Ben.”

“Why not?” Ben asked.

They all looked at him.

“What?” Claire asked.

“Why not?” he repeated. “I could stay with Claire, and Daddy and Papa could go off to help people. Papa likes helping people.”

Cas sniffed before turning to Claire.

“I'm fine with it”, she said. “Much better than sitting on a beach, watching Uncle Dean ogle you in swimming trunks.”

“I do not ogle!” Dean protested.

“Daddy, I had to hand you a tissue when papa brought a pair of trunks from the shop and tried them on”, said a little traitor who wasn't getting sweets any time soon. Dean pou... scowled.

“This will be good for us”, Claire said confidently.

+~+~+

A few days later, she was seriously reconsidering those words. The army had access to a safe off-base nursery so Cas and Dean could leave Ben there, and she ended up working there as they were seriously short-staffed, four of their employees having been affected by the hurricane in some way. But the look on Uncle Cas' and Uncle Dean's faces when they collected them at the end of the day, the two men looking totally wrecked, and Ben said how proud he was of them – well, grown men did cry.

Uncle Dean of course did it _manfully._


	35. Week Thirty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We're from the government and we're here to 'help'.”

With a little help from both Bobby and Cas' college the family stay in Fort Hood extended into a second week and they did not have to leave until the Friday. The day before, Cas was fuming.

“How can they be so dumb?” he all but yelled across their hotel room.

Dean resisted the urge to say 'I told you so' because Cas didn't like it.

“It's your lot in charge”, he could not help saying. “They're supposed to be distributing aid, not withholding it.”

“It's not exactly withholding”, Cas protested.

Dean just looked at him.

“Okay, maybe they could worry about which racial groups get what once everyone's got something”, Cas admitted reluctantly.

“That they're worrying about it in the first place is just dumb”, Dean said. “I've looked on all the newscasts since the story broke and zip; they're covering up for your lot again. No shame at all.”

Cas scowled but couldn't deny what his husband had said. The professor had actually had to be restrained after yelling at some pompous FEMA operative who had refused to dispatch a truck 'because those areas are white and they've had stuff already'. How these people kept their jobs was a bloody miracle! Dean had been right when he had said that America would be so much better if DC was just towed out into the Atlantic and allowed to sink!

“I'm sure they've just misinterpreted the guidelines”, Cas said defensively.

“The fact there are guidelines like that in the first place says something, doesn't it?” Dean said crossly. “It's disgusting, and the fact that the media are suppressing the story makes it worse.”

Cas scowled. He hated it when his husband was right. Of course they had the rule about not talking politics in the house but they weren't in the house just now. 

Dammit!

+~+~+

Fortunately, there was the Net. And Charlie.

“The government say that their officials 'misunderstood and misapplied the rules'”, Cas said as they started to get their things together the next day. “And that the person in question has been 'counseled'.”

“Translation; told not to get caught being so dumb and moronic next time”, Dean said. “A few words of advice, nothing on their record, a promotion when no-one's looking and they can retire on a nice fat pension paid for by the likes of us.”

“You're so damn cynical!” Cas grumbled.

“I'm so damn correct”, Dean grinned.

Cas scowled at him. His husband was never more annoying than when he was ri.... possibly verging on being nearly accurate.


	36. Week Thirty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gone fishing.

Claire resisted the urge to roll her eyes but it took an effort.

“I still don't get it”, Ben frowned. “Why have Daddy and Uncle Sam gone fishing?”

“Because they like to”, she said, trying not to show her impatience.

“But why?”

She knew Uncle Cas was smiling inside, over where he was preparing some work for college. Bastard!

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Why do they have to go fishing? Can't they buy fish at the mall?”

“Of course they can”, she sighed. “But some people like to try and catch their own fish, even if it means sitting in a boat or by a lake for hours on end.”

“That's boring!”

Cas coughed into a tissue. She shot an exasperated glare across at him.

“I suppose some people like time alone”, she said.

“But Daddy's taking Uncle Sam”, Ben pointed out. “So he's not alone.”

“Remember that Daddy and Uncle Sam are brothers”, Cas pointed out from his table. “They have a lot of catching up to do before Uncle Sam goes back to college for his final year. This way they can chat for hours without anyone else there.”

“I'm glad I don't have a brother”, Ben said fervently. “I bet he'd be ever so annoying.”

Claire opened her mouth to say something to that but caught Cas' sharp eye on her and changed her mind. Now she knew just how poor Uncle Dean felt. Did her uncle _have_ to read her mind like that?

Was that a nod? It was, dammit!

+~+~+

“So”, Cas said later that night as he held his husband in what was most definitely a manly embrace. “Did you enjoy your grand day out?”

“I did”, Dean sighed. “It was good having time with the moose.”

“Even if he did catch more fish than you?”

Dean pouted. 

“He told you!” he grumbled. “Dammit!”

“Nope”, Cas grinned. “but if _you_ had caught more fish than him we'd have heard about it the minute you got through the door, wouldn't we?”

Dean huffed. 

“Never mind”, Cas said. “I am sure that I can find some way to.... make it up to you.”

Dean gulped. The Voice™! Lord have mercy!

+~+~+

The Lord did not. And verily Dean was glad!


	37. Week Thirty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This student life.

“It's not fair!” Claire grumbled. “Why have I got to go to school today? Ben doesn't have to start until next week.”

“Ben is younger”, Cas pointed out, “and you are entering your final year. You can complete this year during which your mother and father will be in touch to help discuss your future.”

Claire was sure that she just nodded to that but she had forgotten her honorary uncle's spidey-senses. Cas narrowed his eyes at her.

“What aren't you telling us?” he demanded. She blushed.

“It's just..... Charlie at the college is thinking of setting up her own business and she said that she might take me on.”

“We would have to talk that over with your parents”, Cas said, “but that is an interesting idea.”

“You're not against it?” she asked, surprised. “I thought you'd be mad keen for me to go to college.”

“I am 'mad keen' to do what's best for you”, Cas said and Lord help her if he did not do their air-quotes thing with his fingers, the nerd. “As someone who teaches there I do appreciate that college isn't for everyone. And yes, I know your scores were high enough to make any college sit up and take notice, but if you are not going to enjoy life there then why go?”

She shook her head. She would never understand adults!

+~+~+

Claire had in fact passed all her GEDs bar one – Language II, the only bit that had not been multiple choice. What made that doubly annoying was she'd been pretty sure that her uncles would allow her some treat of other for the full house, and she'd been so damn close! Although the idea of suggesting to them that she and a certain boyfriend wanted to go away for a weekend....

She had a sudden image of an extra gravestone alongside that creepy pet one in the back garden. One with 'Jesse' on it. She shuddered.

It barely crossed her mind that she could lie and say she had a project somewhere or to get Charlie to cover for her. Sometimes she really empathized with Uncle Dean in having to live with a scruffy mind-reading genius.

“Quite”, Cas muttered from his chair.

Goddamit!

+~+~+

“Your homework this week”, Cas told his students later that same day, “is to read the short story whose link I have sent you all and then to comment on it. Between 250 and 300 words, please.”

“What's it about?” Alex asked.

Jesse was sure that the professor looked at him for a fraction of a second before answering.

“How to murder someone and get away with it”, Cas said crisply.

It was cold in the classroom. That was why Jesse shivered.


	38. Week Thirty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to school – but some things don't change.

There was a note on Claire's door when she got home that evening:

'Do not ask Dean for anything'.

Odd, she thought. Why would she be asking Uncle Dean for anything this evening in particular? She was still puzzling it over when she went into the kitchen and found Dean at the sink window, staring outside.

“What's for dinner, Uncle Dean?” she asked.

No reply. That was odd.

“Uncle Dean?”

Still no reply. She came over to stand beside him and was about to speak again when she chanced to look outside.

Really? Uncle Cas was on the sun-lounger wearing only his shorts and.... ew, there was actually a trail of drool down Uncle Dean's shirt! 

“You are hopeless!” she sighed. “Shall I order pizza?”

Still nothing.

“From that place which does the apple pie you like?” she grinned.

“Sure”, he muttered, not even looking at her. “Pie.”

Thank the Lord that Jimmy was her father and not either of these idiots!

+~+~+

“So how did it go?” Hannah asked as Castiel sat down at his desk.

“Pretty much as expected for the first day at a new school”, Cas sighed. “Tears, blubbering, whining, trying to put a brave face on and failing miserably and then looking so grateful when I suggested stopping for ice-cream later.”

“Sounds about right”, she agreed. “Most kids find their first day incredibly traumatic.”

“Oh Ben was fine”, Cas said airily. “Dean was the mess. Still, he'll be moving carefully today.”

“Why?” she asked, confused. He grinned.

“I had to do a lot more consoling last night as well!” he said.

She glared at him.

“What a pity you can't divorce your co-workers!”

He just smirked.

+~+~+

Claire had put in to resit her failed GED in December much to her family's pleasure.

“We spoke with your father and mother”, Cas told her, “and they agreed that if you do pass then you might be rewarded with a long weekend on the coast.”

“In December?” she said with a smile. “Dean'll hate that, not seeing you in swimwear.”

“Hey!” came a protest from the other room.

“I had thought a winter break for you and Jesse”, Cas said, “but if you want to wait till next summer so we can all come as well, then....”

The rest of his words were lost beneath a smothering kiss.


	39. Week Thirty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas returns to a totally not-jealous Dean and some cudd.... manly embracing.

Claire came down that morning to find the house unusually quiet. Uncle Dean was making breakfast, yawning over the skillet.

“Where's Uncle Cas?” she asked.

“He had to dash off in the middle of the night”, he told her.

“Why?” she asked.

“You know Mr. Parker, who lets you use his garage?” he said. “The reason he's been away these past two weeks is his friend, the Reverend Andy, was dying. He had had a blood transfusion last year and it was infected. He wanted to go to Las Vegas for one last time so they flew there. Poor Andy died late last night and Cas has flown out to help.”

“Do you need me to help with anything?” she asked. He smiled.

“Bobby is pretty flexible when it comes to emergencies”, he said, “so I can manage Ben by myself for a few days. But if you could sort out tomorrow's and Friday's packed lunches that'd be helpful. And clean the house except for, uh....

“Your bedroom”, she grinned. “Don't worry - I value my eyesight!”

+~+~+

Cas returned two days later looking exhausted. 

“Poor Cap”, he said when he came back. “He looks shattered.”

“I wonder he didn't tell us how bad it was”, Dean mused. “Though I did think the two of them going off to Vegas was a bad sign especially with Andy so ill.”

“Andy came from Glendale not far from there”, Cas explained, “and his first ministry was in Sin City. I suppose a lot of people would think it odd that a man of the cloth should go to such a place on holiday but Cap said he always held to a firm limit when they hit the machines.”

“You fancy going back there?” Dean asked.

“I like Texas”, Cas said. “Besides I hit the jackpot every night with you, my wonderful loving husband.”

“Aw.”

“Who wasn't the least bit jealous that I was with another man in Vegas.”

“Of course I wasn't.”

Even in the semi-darkness of the room Dean could feel the weight of that judgmental look.

“Okay I wasn't happy”, he admitted. “But you were needed there. As Bobby says, family don't end in blood. Which reminds me; I have to work the next two Saturdays.”

“Change of subject”, Cas muttered sleepily. “Come on, let's cudd....”

Dean glared at him.

“Let's manfully embrace each other?”

“Hmph!”


	40. Week Thirty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where there's a will....... there's a relative!

Cas had gone round to see if his friend was okay after all that had happened recently. They were talking quietly when there was the sound of a car pulling up outside. Parker stood up and looked out of the window.

“Fucking hellski!” he said fervently.

Cas was surprised. He had never heard the Englishman swear before.

“What is it?” he asked.

“My sister Margaret and her shrew of a wife Ricci”, he said. “Where's a twelve-bore shotgun when you need one?”

Cas smiled. Surely no relatives were that bad?

+~+~+

Five minutes later, he was revising that opinion. Margaret Snelgrove was a woman who had apparently troweled on several tons of make-up that morning in the mistaken belief it might make her look less hideous (it had not), and her wife was a taller, thinner and equally 'over-Maybellined' version of the same. With them was a tired-looking elderly guy in a suit, although if he had arrived with these two that explained the tired look. He looked vaguely familiar, Cas thought.

“I want this sorted right here and now!” Margaret shrilled (unfortunately she had a voice to match her face). “I am not having my brother's bit on the side take one cent that is rightfully mine!”

Ricci nodded so vigorously that Cas was sure he could see her make-up shake. He recognized the guy now as Ronald Santon, a lawyer at one of the firms in town. His daughter Sandra attended the college though not in any of his classes; Cas had seen him and his wife at a fundraiser one time.

“If Mr. Bradley is happy with that then I see no objection”, the lawyer said dryly. “The situation is perfectly clear from a legal viewpoint.”

“Ha!” Margaret said forcibly, folding her arms in triumph. Cas gestured quietly to his friend to suggest he might leave but Parker shook his head

“The estate of the late Reverend Andrew Ford was, as I am sure you are all aware, valued in excess of eight million dollars....”

“What?” Parker and Cas exclaimed, although Cas noted that neither of the women looked surprised. There was an awkward silence.

“He..... he did not tell you?” the lawyer asked, clearly surprised. “Oh.”

“And now it's all mine as his next of kin”, Margaret said forcibly.

Cas suddenly got it and just about held back a smile as to what he could guess was going to happen next. He was not disappointed.

“Actually”, the lawyer said, a slight flicker of his lips betraying his own emotions, “it is not.”

“What?” the Ricci creature shrieked. “Money goes to family and we _know_ he didn't leave a will.”

“I regret to tell you that he did”, the lawyer said, looking anything but regretful. “Shortly after his recent marriage in Las Vegas, which as you know itself revoked any previous arrangements, he made a will leaving everything to his new husband. I had a vague presentiment that you might feel the need for confirmation of that, ladies, so I have brought papers that.....”

Margaret Snelgrove uttered an obscenity that surprised even Cas with its inventiveness (and he lived with Dean!) before storming from the room followed by her wife. Cas stood up to open a window and let the perfume out. After some little thought he opened the door too.

“Eight _million_ dollars?” Parker said hollowly.

“That is actually a conservative estimate”, the lawyer said, “based on what you would get after taxes. It will most likely be more. I had better call a cab as my lift seems to have departed.”

“I can get Dean to drive you back to town”, Cas said. “I shall call him from the other room and he can collect you from here.”

He left his friend uttering 'eight million' to an empty room.


	41. Week Thirty-Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if you are Dean Winchester, you can have too much of a good thing.

Cas had driven Claire and Ben over to Charlie's house for an afternoon visit, and they were just coming in from the garage.

“Pizza tonight?” Claire said hopefully. “You can even have fruit on it if you must.”

Cas smiled for some reason.

“I suppose it would save us from cooking”, he said. “Order the regular, Claire, but nothing for Dean.”

“Has daddy been bad?” Ben asked.

There was a soft moan from the next room. Cas smiled again.

“He has not”, he said, “but he will definitely not be wanting any pizza tonight. Or any of the pie we are having for afters.”

“I hate you all!” Dean called through the doorway. “Just so's you know.”

“Oh I remember”, Claire said. “Your church thing.”

“Daddy's been to church on a Saturday?” Ben asked, clearly confused.

“No”, Cas said, “but the church were doing a charity event today and Dean kindly volunteered to help out.”

“And he's all tired after just that?” Claire asked. “No stamina, some people.”

“Do not make that gesture, Dean”, Cas called out.

“How could you know from in there?” his husband demanded.

“It was a charity pie-eating contest”, Cas said. “The winner got double the amount of pie they could eat. And who won, Dean?”

“Garth, would you believe it?” Dean moaned. “I came in second to a human hairbrush!”

“Garth is the dorky one who teaches at your college, isn't he?” Claire asked. “The one who looks like he should be in high school.”

Cas smiled at the appellation.

“He is quite young-looking”, he admitted. “And now Dean has a whole week of the garage guys teasing him at losing out to such a guy.”

“Hate you even more”, Dean grumbled. “And I'm ordering pizza for myself tomorrow, once I can move.”

“Did you throw up?” Claire asked.

“Twice”, Dean sighed. “What a waste! All that pie.”

“That reminds me”, Cas said, “I must get the pie out for dessert.”

“Caaaas!”

They all laughed.


	42. Week Thirty-Eight – I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A windfall and some waving of hands.

“I insist”, Parker said firmly. “I always promised myself when I entered the lottery back in England that if I won by some miracle, I would give ten per cent to friends and another ten per cent to charity. You've been a good friend to me, Cas.”

Cas could still hardly believe it. Nor could Dean when he got the text message; Bobby allowed him to call back as it was deemed important.

“How much?” Dean asked, astounded.

“Enough to pay off our the remainder of mortgage and to boost that fund we wanted to start for Ben”, Cas said. “And it's definitely ours; Cap's sister went to four different lawyers and they all said it's watertight against her.”

“Poor thing”, Dean said insincerely.

“Poor Maybelline more like!” Cas chuckled.

+~+~+

Bobby's garage had more than enough work around town to keep it busy, but his reputation was such that he also had a few rich car owners from up to as far away as Dallas who preferred to trust their cars to him than any local garage. Which Dean had always supposed, was a good thing – except today one of these rich dicks who lived out at Granbury, about halfway to Fort Worth, needed urgent repairs to one of their vehicles so he was deputed to drive all the way out there to see to it.

That in itself was annoying enough – it was the day before a certain blue-eyed someone's birthday, which Dean strove to keep clear so he could plan something for his angel – but when he got there, the car in question (a freakin' Jaguar!) had more things wrong with it than bloody Congress! He phoned Cas and it was arranged that Dean would stay in a motel in town for the night and finish everything off the next day. At least he got a free motel stay even though he knew he would sleep badly without his usual human octopus bed partner.

+~+~+

Claire rolled her eyes when Cas finally got off the phone.

“You two are awful!” she said. “You must have been at least an hour yapping away.”

Cas just smiled.

“Well, we had a lot to talk about”, he said. “And besides, we neither of us sleep well when we're apart so I was just helping Dean relax.”

She was about to comment on that when she suddenly realized.

“Ew!” she exclaimed. “You took that phone upstairs and you.... ew!”

“Papa waved his hands about?” Ben asked curiously. “Why would he do that when he is on the phone to Daddy?”

She blushed bright red.

“I'm going to do my homework!” she announced. “At least _that_ won't traumatize me!”

Trust her to end up with the only relatives in the world who could make algebra seem relatively attractive. Well, at least it stopped her thinking about...

Ew!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update tomorrow


	43. Week Thirty-Eight – II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anniversary dinner - including afters!

Dean groaned as he eased under his fourth car of the day. His luck was terrible! He'd finally sorted the Jag and asked the guy if that was it – and no, of course it hadn't been. The guy had six other cars in the garage, and there was something wrong with each and every one of them. Hadn't he heard of annual services? What the hell else could go wrong today?

He had his answer when he was finally done and went to start the garage truck for the drive back – and the exhaust promptly fell off! Dean Winchester, manly man extraordinaire, just cried!

Mr. Livengood, the owner of the place, knocked on his window.

“Anything I can do to help?” he asked politely.

+~+~+

Cas was more than a bit surprised when Charlie arrived unexpectedly in her car, the sight of which always made Dean wince as it was one of the few vehicles in town he rated as even more hideous that Claire's 'Spamcan'. 

“Dean called”, she explained, “and said there's been a problem with his truck. He's stuck in Granbury.”

Cas' face fell.

“But he's made other arrangements”, she grinned, “and I'm taking these two youngsters for the night. Get packed, kids.”

Cas stared at her in confusion.

“How can Dean get back without the truck?” he asked. “Is he getting a lift?”

“You could say that”, she grinned. “Get moving you two, or I'll start on the six flavors of ice-cream without you.”

Ben squealed and fled to the stairs. Claire was there before him.

+~+~+

The four of them were sorting themselves out in the hallway when they heard a curious noise outside.

“That sounds like a helicopter”, Cas frowned. “I wish they wouldn't fly so low over a residential area.”

The noise was even louder as they went outside, which was because the source of it was landing in the close. A smartly-dressed young man got out and walked over to them.

“Mr. Castiel Winchester?” he asked.

“Yes?” Cas said warily.

“I am here to take you to Sturdy's Castle”, he said.

“That's the millionaire's place out near Fort Worth!” Charlie said.

“Uh, why?” Cas asked.

“Mr. Livengood has arranged it as an anniversary thank-you for your husband for repairing all his cars”, the man said. “Your husband is driving there in one of my boss' cars and we're taking you the fast way. You're booked for a night there and he'll drive you back tomorrow.”

Cas was speechless.

“Go on, Cas”, Charlie urged. “Don't miss your chance to visit the millionaire's diner!”

“I need a change of clothes”, Cas fretted. 

Charlie handed him one of the bags she was carrying.

“All done”, she said. “You've no classes until eleven tomorrow so you're fine. Go celebrate your anniversary!”

Almost in a dream Cas followed the young man to the helicopter.

+~+~+

Sturdy's Castle was all Cas had read about and more, a huge private hotel done up as a medieval castle, and as for the prices – well, if he had had to pay for a meal and a night here that would take care of most of Parker's wonderful gift. It was a wonderful evening with a Dean who looked as stunned as he felt, and they enjoyed their meal and a walk in the copious grounds. And as for the four-poster bed – well, they enjoyed that too.

Once for each poster!


	44. Week Thirty-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babysitting.

Cas smiled to himself as Claire slumped exhaustedly into a chair.

“Never again!” she said fervently. “Why the hell would anyone ever have kids?”

Cas and Dean just looked at each other. Dean opened his mouth to answer.

“Not a word!” she threatened. “Or I'll hack into your online shopping account and order you six months' supply of kale!”

“Yummy!” Cas said at once. She glared at him, as did someone else.

+~+~+

The reason for the exhaustion of just about everyone at 820 was the recent departure of three temporary additions to the household, namely Cas' nephew and nieces from next door. Richard and Miri had had a run of minor illnesses which had left their mother exhausted and their father, at once point, falling asleep while standing holding a rake in the garden. And Dean had thought it blatantly unfair that Cas had not allowed him to snap the annoying prankster over the garden fence with his phone. Okay, so he had gone upstairs and done it from Claire's room, but it hadn't been as.....

Why was Cas looking at him like that?

Cas and Dean had had Shweta round to help out, and Charlie had helped arrange a weekend for Gabriel and Kali at a luxury health spa on the edge of town (neither Cas nor Dean was dumb enough to inquire into the details), which meant that the two of them got to babysit for two nights. And to answer the next question, they only got six frantic phone calls from Kali, worrying about her kids.

They got nine from Gabriel. Dean was so going to.... dammit he was getting another look!

Dean had tried to get out of the less pleasant parts of babydom but Cas had insisted on training him how to change a nappy and what to do when the poop manufacturing units let rip (seriously, were these kids absorbing stuff from this air or something?). By the end of the week he was totally cured of any desire to raise a baby from scratch. Ugh!

And then he saw Cas holding one of the twins. There may have been a very manly exclamation of appreciation, and possibly an allergic reaction to all the dust in the room......

 _That_ was when Claire took the picture. And immediately sent it to everyone, the cow!


	45. Week Forty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No dice.

Claire was surprised to come down from her room and find her uncle reading quietly in the front room.

“I thought you were going to sweep the leaves up in the garden?” she said.

“Dean is doing it”, Cas smiled.

She paused before asking. She had learned a lot in her time in this house.

“Without any answer that will leave me needing therapy sessions that I'd bill you for”, she said carefully, “why?”

“I did not promise him anything in return”, Cas said primly. “We decided it by rolling three dice. If he got ten or below he did it, and if he got eleven or above I did it.”

She noted the dice and a shaker on the table beside him.

“So he'll be moaning all evening about how unlucky he was”, she guessed.

Her relative smiled slowly.

“Roll them yourself”, he said.

She looked curiously at them but did so. She got a three and two ones.

“Five”, she said. “Luckily Uncle Dean is.... wait a minute!”

She carefully felt the three dice.

“You used _loaded_ dice?”

“Yes and no.”

She stared at him in confusion.

“The last time we had an argument about household chores”, he said, “Dean suggested using dice to decide next time. Naturally I was suspicious....”

“Naturally”, she agreed. 

“So I asked around at certain shops in town. Sure enough one of them had recently sold a set of three dice to someone matching Dean's description which he was told were guaranteed to always roll high. I just swapped them for ones which would always roll low.”

“You are a sneaky and devious man, Uncle Cas!”

“I know”, he said. “But to be fair I did also promise Dean a small reward later when he.....”

“Uncle Cas!”

“I mean pie”, he said innocently. “Honestly, teenagers these days. Minds always in the gutter!”

She did not believe that innocent look of his for one second. Judging from Uncle Dean's blissed-out face the following morning and the way that he sat down very carefully, she had been too damn right!


	46. Week Forty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a clash of civilizations, and Dean thinks about cavemen.

Seventeen puzzled faces stared back at Professor Novak. 

“You want us to play a computer game”, Alex asked suspiciously. “Uh, why?”

“Because it's Columbus Day”, Cas said, “and I want you to try your hand at defending a relatively backwards civilization from the sudden onslaught of an infinitely more advanced one.”

“Cool!” Jesse said. “I always wanted to be Chris!”

Cas looked for a fraction of a second too long at Claire's boyfriend, who flushed bright red. The professor smiled.

“Well, that might be a bit difficult”, he said. “You have ninety minutes game time to fend off the invaders – except that here the invaders are the Aztecs.”

“What?” Alice asked, confused.

“This is a reverse scenario”, Cas explained. “In this word, the Aztecs developed faster than the various European nations and spread their culture out of Central and into South America, eventually reaching Brazil. They then crossed the Romanche Gap to Africa and established advance bases in the Canary Isles and Madeira before the European nations could get there. It is they who are attacking with superior weapons and you have to fight them off.”

+~+~+

Cas was not surprised that of his whole class, only Alex and Jeff survived the whole ninety minutes, and even they were in poor shape at the end. Their homework was an assessment of the exercise and the professor looked forward to seeing if they had learned the lesson.

“Which was?” Dean asked as his husband held him in a manly embrace that evening. The garage had had a busier than usual day and Dean had arrived home so tired that Cas had allowed him pizza on a midweek day for once.

“That the sort of conquest of an advanced over a less advanced civilization that happened after 1492 was pretty much inevitable”, Cas said. “It's all very well some people saying that it was wrong and that the way of life of the native civilizations should have been respected and preserved but you can't apply today's standards to past times. Otherwise we would have to go back to cavemen and tell them that no, they can't use their shiny new spears to take over the hunting grounds of the tribe in the next valley because that would be 'just wrong'.”

Dean was silent.

“You're imaging me dressed as a caveman, aren't you?” 

“Dammit Cas, get out of my head!”

Cas grinned.

“Well, next time Charlie takes Claire and Ben for a night, maybe I'll see if I can hire a caveman outfit. Goodnight, Dean.”

And with that he spooned his suddenly very hard and very horny husband. Dean glared into the darkness.

“That was just _mean!”_ he hissed.

He was sure he heard a faint chuckle. And Little Dean really had terrible timing!


	47. Week Forty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is a bad big brother!

Much as Dean Winchester loved his brother, he would have been the first to admit that Sammy had certain 'weak' areas, one of which was his inability to prepare food in any way, shape or form. Which was why Sarah Blake was now out shopping for a new microwave oven and the moose, having cleaned up the aftermath of his failed efforts in her kitchen, was round at 820 for breakfast.

“Never thought the manly Dean Winchester would have a yellow patterned kitchen”, teased someone who ran the risk of not getting fed any time soon. Dean scowled from the cooker.

“Cas liked it”, he said, “and it made him happy. So I went along with it.”

“Awwww!”

Dean flipped his brother off. Fortunately Cas had taken Ben and Claire to school that morning so he wouldn't know. And if Sammy tattled, Dean would claim that the moose had deliberately messed up Cas' anally-organized DVD collection. Hah!

“I can eat all this myself, you know”, he grumbled. Bobby had agreed to Dean being late in provided he cooked up some burritos and brought them in as a morning treat for the staff.

“Probably could with that stomach”, Sam said. “Need any help?”

“Hope, nothing needs setting fire to just now.”

This time it was Sammy's turn for a gesture. Dean had a sudden flash of inspiration and smiled to himself.

“You can pass me the wooden spoon out of that drawer there”, he said innocently.

His brother opened the draw, then stopped.

“What are these doing here?” he asked, holding up a set of handcuffs.

Dean mustered up his most innocent expression.

“What?” he asked, wide-eyed.

He could see the exact moment that his brother got it.

“Ew!”

“You know what they say about nature calls, Sammy.”

“Dean!”

“Sometimes when we're alone in here, I hoist Cas up onto the top.....”

“Dean, dammit!”

“In fact, right where you're standing.”

It was hilarious, watching his moose of a brother so desperate to leave and find some brain bleach, yet equally desperate for food.

“I hate you!”

“Aw, you're just jealous. Besides, Cas only uses those ones on me when I've been _really_ bad. He also has a silk-lined pair that he had made 'specially.....”

Sam let out a keening wail and collapsed into a chair. Dean grinned evilly, but plated up some breakfast for him. There would be more time to traumatize him later – especially if Sammy could be tricked into visiting the service-room after Dean had 'accidentally' unlocked the small cupboard there.....


	48. Week Forty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone is in hospital.

Victor winced as the far too cheerful nurse bounced up beside his bed. He really wished he had something to clobber her with. Maybe he could ask for a bedpan....

“You have a _visitor_ , Mr. Henriksen!” she trilled as if such an event was a miracle to rank alongside the loaves and fishes thing. “It is not yet opening hours but Sister said that they might be let in.”

Victor was surprised. His wife and son had been in during the brief morning hours and he knew they would be unable to come this evening as she had guests coming over. Ones she hated and he would not miss seeing at all.

Fortunately all was soon explained when Dean loomed up beside him. Even better, the horribly cheerful nurse bounced off to terrify someone else.

“Is she always that bad?” Dean asked once she had gone.

“Yeah”, his co-worker sighed. “I'm just amazed you got past Sister Theresa.”

“She's not on duty”, Dean said. “It's Sister Mabel, and you know she gets her car done at the garage. How are you?”

“Still hurting”, the patient admitted. “”I had a car fall on me, remember?”

Dean grinned.

“Oh I remember”, he said. “Some idiot was fiddling with the jack when a pretty lady in a short skirt walked by outside and he got distracted. Now what was his name....?”

For a black man Victor could blush most satisfyingly. The patient sniffed the air.

“You've brought me something?” he asked.

Dean nodded and handed him a bad. Opening it Victor found a perfect apple pie sliced into four pieces, along with a carton of custard, a plastic bowl and a fork.

“Your husband thinks of everything”, he said admiringly.

“How do you know I didn't bake it?” Dean demanded.

Victor waved the dish and custard at him.

“Just as I know Cas told you to make sure you delivered it _this_ time”, he said smugly. “We all remember the Gingerbread Incident.”

Dean shuddered at the memory. Cas had baked a whole lot of gingerbread for the guys at work but on the way there Dean had sort of accidentally knocked the lid off so had of course had to eat them before they spoiled. And Cas, the bastard, had gone and checked with Ash to make sure Dean had done what he'd been told. There had been no sex for a whole. Damn. Week! And Dean hadn't even been allowed to jerk off, either.

The make-up sex afterwards though..... oh my God!

“You're hopeless!” Victor said.

“Yep! Any chance of sharing that pie?”

“I'll tell Cas you asked.”

Dean pou... scowled. Yeah Cas had promised him a slice of pie when he got home but.... that was a totally different pie.


	49. Week Forty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets an early 'trick' before Halloween.

Dean slouched into the house feeling more than a little peeved. Look, it had not been his fault that those Shadow Orcs had been able to launch a successful attack on Queen Celeste's stronghold. It was not as if he'd been on guard duty or anything.

Okay he had been. But handmaidens had not duty ending up as guards. And how had he been expected to know that one of those damn Orcs had been Benny, who had very unfairly left out a pie that had by an unfortunate mischance distracted Dean at the critical moment. His work colleague was so going to pay for that.

Dean was, just possibly, maybe the very slightest bit nervous that Charlie might be just a tad upset with him over the whole farrago. Perhaps. She had given him a sharp look when they had been changing afterwards but had not said anything. And that was completely unlike her.

Cas and Claire were in the front room but Dean didn't feel like company so he called out that he was gonna take a shower and headed for the upstairs bathroom. He barely got his foot on the first step before he heard Cas' phone ring, and was only three steps up when he heard his husband's uproarious laughter. What on earth?

Stepping back down he poked his head into the room. 

“What is it?” he asked.

Before either of them could speak Claire's phone also went off and she picked it up. Her reaction was even more hilarity, throwing her head back and roaring with laughter. Dean stared at her curiously – until Cas turned his phone round and showed him the picture he'd just received.

Apparently Charlie had taken a picture of him. In his handmaiden costume, just as he had been passing over that vent and, as she had put it, 'done a Marilyn Monroe'. And the cow had sent it to _everybody!_

+~+~+

A couple of days later it was Halloween. In all probability more than a few trick-or-treaters were surprised why one house in Venta Road had a pumpkin decorated with a frilly white dress, although when the door was opened to them they found the hallway of the house dominated by a large poster displaying a very surprised looking handmaiden....


	50. Week Forty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are made, and some people make an unexpected visit to the library.

Missouri frowned as she pored over the midterm scores for her various professors. 

“Is something wrong?” Sheriff Mills asked. She was there to do a regular inspection, and to possibly 'talk' with two or three students just to remind them about keeping on the straight and narrow. And about CCTV cameras in unexpected places.

“Professor Novak has three students who have under-performed”, she said. “Cruz, Matthews and Smith.”

“That's unlike Castiel”, her visitor said. “Do you plan to take any remedial action?”

The principal smiled.

“In this case I won't need to”, she said.

“Huh?”

Missouri picked up her phone and keyed in a number.

“Library”, she muttered to the sheriff. “Hello, Cate? Just wanted to know if you had any students from Professor Novak's class with you just now. Uh huh. And when did they arrive? No, no problem. Bye.”

She smiled at her guest's mystification.

“Some professors yell and scream at students when they don't work hard enough”, she said. “Castiel just pulls out his kicked puppy face on them. They all went to the library straight after his class.”

+~+~+

“It was awful!” Jesse told Claire later. “Your uncle looked like he was about to break down in tears, and the way he looked at Phil – hell even I felt like a heel, and I passed!”

“He does that on poor Dean as well”, she sighed. “I wish he'd teach me how so I can use it on others, but he won't. Is the cinema showing that _Star Wars_ marathon the week after next?”

Her boyfriend blinked at the _non sequitur_.

“Uh, yeah”, he said eventually. “Why do you ask?”

“I was thinking we might go and see it.”

He looked sharply at her.

“Two weeks' time when your uncles are taking Ben for a night's stay in Dallas as a special treat?” he asked shrewdly.

“They'll never know”, she said confidently.

“Or you'll never find my body!” he fretted.


	51. Week Forty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben applies his own logic to a difficult encounter.

Sometimes having a kid led to the odd Awkward Moment.

It was Veterans' Day and the four of them were having a picnic in the park opposite with Lieutenant Ben and his sister Mrs. Fulready.

“What's wrong with that man, daddy?” Ben asked suddenly.

Dean looked up in surprise.

“What man?” he asked.

“The one on the bench over there”, Ben said, looking across at one of the blue park benches. “He looks sick. And the lady with him looks bad too.”

Dean looked across to where a man and his wife were both scowling at their little party. His eyes narrowed; Lieutenant Ben was still in uniform, having been collected from a reunion meeting just prior to the picnic. Unfortunately the mechanic could guess what was up with their watchers.

“Maybe they are just sick?” he suggested.

His son's eyes narrowed.

“They're looking at the loo-tenant”, he said, carefully trying out the unfamiliar word. “Why're they looking so cross?”

Cas sighed.

“Some people do not like the armed services, in which brave men like our friend serve”, he explained. 

“Some people are morons!” Claire muttered. Cas glared at her but did not reprove her.

“Maybe they haven't had their sweets yet”, Dean offered. “Is there any pie?”

It was frankly unfair of all his companions to simultaneously roll their eyes at him like that. 

“Do sweet things stop people looking sour?” Ben asked.

“If only!” Claire said pointedly not looking at Cas. She could still feel the look, though.

Ben suddenly stood up and walked over to where the man and woman were still staring. Once there the boy took two sweets out of his pocket and handed one to each of them.

“Uh, thanks?” the woman said, clearly confused.

“That's okay”, Ben said with a smile. “Now you don't need to look so miserable!”

Behind him five people fell about laughing as the couple hurried away looking mortified. 

“Why did they go off like that?” Ben asked as he came back to them. “And what's so funny?”

“We'll tell you when you're older”, Claire laughed.

He glared at her for that.


	52. Week Forty-Seven - I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long movie.... and what will be a memorable evening for one Claire Novak.

Claire grinned as she and Jesse sat down towards the back of the theater.

“This'll be great!” she said. “Soda, popcorn, snacks – and no annoying uncles anywhere near.”

“You sure they're in Dallas with the kid?” Jesse asked dubiously.

She snuggled closer to her boyfriend as they waited for the presentation to start.

“Sure”, she said. “They texted me a pic of the pie shop he stopped at in Fort Worth. So damn predictable.”

“Indeed”, came a growly voice from right behind them. _“So damn predictable.”_

Both teenagers shot to their feet and turned to see....

“Uncle Cas?” Claire gasped in horror. “What are you doing here?”

Her relative eyed her balefully although that was a lot better than the look he was giving her boyfriend which suggested all sorts of dark things lay in that boy's immediate future. And that that future might not be an overly long one. Jesse whined in terror and tried to his behind his girlfriend.

“ _We_ are here to enjoy the presentation”, Cas said drily.

Claire had not thought her situation could get any worse but that particular pronoun suggested that yup, it was just about to. And sure enough Dean was edging along the row towards his husband giving Jesse an even darker look.

“Gummy bears as asked”, he said passing the bag to his husband. “I might take the odd one or two. I could do with biting the heads off something just now.”

Thus began one of the longest evenings of Claire Novak's life.

+~+~+

“You didn't even yell at her”, Dean said disappointedly. His husband smirked.

“She's an imaginative girl”, he said. “She'll know I'm quite capable of inventing all sorts of creative punishments for her, let alone what I might do to Jesse. Let them both think the worst for a sleepless night, and only then find out.”

Dean shook his head at him.

“How's Charlie doing?” he asked.

“She, Dorothy and Ben checked in to a five-star hotel some hours ago”, Cas said, “and our son went out like a light.”

“Five-star?” Dean asked, surprised.

“It's Charlie”, Cas said. “I have long learned not to ask.”

Dean could not but agree. Now all he had to do was find that Jesse kid, and......

Dammit, Cas was looking at him again.

“Since Claire has been so bad”, his husband said his voice suddenly dropping to the point where Dean's trousers became very tight all of a sudden, “and our son is away, I think we might not be so considerate tonight. I might get out the blue ties.”

Dean's lip may have quivered very slightly.

“And the waistcoat.”

Dean did not exactly whimper.

 _“And_ the glasses!”

Dean whimpered.

+~+~+

For Claire Novak a bad night was about to get that much worse – especially when she found out that some bastard of a relative had gone and hidden her earplugs!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update Thursday.


	53. Week Forty-Seven - II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is kinda immobilized.

There was the sound of moaning from the front room (moaning, definitely not whining).

“Every year”, Cas sighed. “Every year he insists on buying a turkey that's at least twice the size we need for Thanksgiving. And every year he ends up lying on the couch in his sweatpants, moaning because he ate too much.”

“I'm consistent”, Dean huffed. “Where's the remote?”

“In the table-tidy, where we always keep it”, Cas called back from the kitchen.

He reached five before the inevitable.

“Can someone come and get it for me?”

“You're pathetic!” Claire scolded, coming into the room and bringing him the remote from a massive two yards away. “No wonder Uncle Cas is gonna put you on a diet.”

Dean's eyes widened in horror – at least until he saw her evil smile.

“G'way!” he grumbled. “And bring me pie.”

“You just said you were full and your stomach hurt”, Cas pointed out.

“I can't eat any more food”, Dean said. “But I can manage some pie.”

“But pie is food, Daddy”, Ben pointed out. Cas and Claire both sniggered.

“'T'isn't”, Dean said mulishly. “Pie is pie.”

“Best not to try to understand Dean Logic”, Cas said. “Wait until you're older. About thirty, I'd say.”

“That's ages!” Ben said crossly. “Can I have my ice-cream in the garden please, papa?”

Cas spooned his son up a cone.

“Leave the door open”, he reminded him as Ben went out.

The boy was barely through the back door when the front door bell rang. Cas sighed.

“Can you get that, Claire?” he asked. “I want to keep an eye on Ben, and _someone_ won't be capable of moving for quite some time.”

She nodded and went to open the door. Outside stood a tall dark-haired man in military uniform.

“Uh, hi”, he said. “I'm looking for the house of a Lieutenant Braeden. We were in the same unit.”

Cas came through to see who it was.

“Can you keep an eye on Ben for me, Claire?” he said. He turned to the visitor. “May we know your name, sir?”

“Lieutenant Baldur Crossdale”, the man said. He glanced at the figure rolling around on the couch in an ultimately failed attempt to stand up. “Sorry, I must have the wrong house.”

“The lieutenant lives just the other side of the park”, Cas said. “But I happen to know that he went to his sister Mrs. Fulready's house for dinner. If you come in and wait, I'll phone to see where he is.”

“He's very handsome!” Claire whispered to a still horizontal Dean, as Cas led the soldier into the kitchen.

Dean just glared at her. Kids these days!

“I'll get your pie”, she said consolingly.

Meh, perhaps kids weren't all that bad. Now if only Cas would let him deal with that bastard Jesse....

His husband coughed from the next room. Dammit!


	54. Week Forty-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about takings. And trust.

“So how's things?” Dean asked, leaning on the bar at the Roadhouse.

Ellen frowned.

“Pretty good”, she said. “Surprising what with those morons out there repairing the road one inch per day. We had a brief dip but we're getting a lot more people in now.”

“Yet something's up”, Dean said. “What?”

“Just it seems mostly students from your husband's college”, she said. “Not our usual lot. Bookish kids but they're okay.”

+~+~+

“Oh yes, that's what I expected.”

Dean stared at his husband in confusion. 

“You expected it?” he asked. “Wait a minute.....”

Cas grinned.

“My students thought they'd hit pay dirt when I told them their homework was to go to a bar”, he smiled. “Then I gave them the bad news. They had to covertly observe one person there, come away, and write a thousand-word essay about that person solely from memory. If they were spotted observing the person, they'd fail.”

“How could you know they wouldn't cheat?” Dean asked.

Cas just looked at him. Dean sighed.

“Dumb question, Winchester.”

“Thank you for saving me the effort of saying that”, Cas grinned. “And to be absolutely fair, I chose the Roadhouse. I guessed takings would be down with those roadworks that prevented people from turning across the freeway, so Ellen might need the extra money.”

“Why do my professors never give me homework like that?” Claire grumbled from across the table.

“Maybe they don't _trust_ you to be by yourself?” Dean offered.

She blushed. Thanksgiving apart the last week had been pure hell, made even worse by Cas' near constant Severe Disappointed Face™. At least he had told her mom and dad for her and calmed them down a bit; when they had Skyped the day after her movie 'experience' they had been clearly angry but controlled. Dean had suggested making Jesse wash the Impala for a year as punishment, but Cas had insisted that the boy's own parents decide what to do to him.

Adults sucked!


	55. Week Forty-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire Novak has a bad moment in Dairy Queen courtesy of.... oh come on!

Cas had had to take his last class of the day to the town hall as part of their course, so they had arranged for Claire to collect Ben. The professor was surprised to arrive home and find both that the kids weren't there but Dean was.

“I paid for Claire to take Ben for ice-cream”, Dean explained, “'cause I had to drive out to collect someone who had broken down. It was quiet when I got back, so Bobby said I could go early.”

Cas narrowed his eyes at his husband.

“What aren't you telling me?” he demanded.

Dean shuddered.

“Freaky mind-reading professor!” he grumbled. “All right. I sort of forgot to drop that cake you made for Lieutenant Ben off this morning, so I called in on my way home.”

Cas continued to stare at him.

“Cut that out!” Dean said. “Okay. Lieutenant Crossdale answered the door – wearing only his shorts! And more than one hickey.”

His husband smiled.

“I hoped that was the real reason he had come here looking for his friend”, he said. “At least he was wearing his shorts.”

“Yeah”, Dean said. “He's quite attractive, I suppose.”

It took rather too long for the cold silence that followed that statement to register in Dean's mind. The look on his husband's face was terrifying!

“Upstairs!” he snarled. _“Now!”_

Dean fled.

+~+~+

Some distance across town Claire Novak received a text, to which she rolled her eyes.

“Is something wrong?” Ben asked.

“No”, she said. “Uh, just from Uncle Cas saying he and your daddy are both home and.... uh.... sort of busy.”

“Busy doing what?” Ben asked at once.

She blushed fiercely.

“Work, I suppose”, she parried.

“What sort of work?” Ben pressed.

“You want more toppings on that?” she tried.

He narrowed his eyes at her, but nodded. Phew!

She tried hard not to think what was happening at home but failed miserably. She was so billing those idiots for her future therapy sessions!


	56. Week Fifty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a major shopping trip and Dean does not complain (see under Great Miracles Of Our Time).

Cas had noticed that their son seemed preoccupied over something.

“Is Daddy alright?” Ben asked suddenly.

“Of course”, Cas said. “Why do you ask, son?”

“Because we're going shopping and he's not complaining.”

Across the table Claire snorted into her cereal. Cas glared at her.

“Daddy knows that we have to do some Christmas shopping at the mall”, he said. “Besides, I have promised him a treat if he can get through the whole of today without moaning.”

Claire shot him a dirty look.

“Why is Claire looking so funny at you?” Ben asked.

“I have no idea”, Cas said innocently. “It is not as if a trip to the pie shop is anything to frown about, is it Claire?”

She glared at him. That innocent smile of his did not convince her for one minute!

+~+~+

The good news for Claire was that her mom and dad had wired some money to buy herself a present from them. The bad news was that the untrusting bastards had sent the money to Uncle Cas, saying that he could veto anything that he disapproved of. Honestly, why did her uncle have to look at her in that way? It wasn't as if she'd sneaked off and.....

Oh yeah. She had done that, sorta.

To her annoyance Cas would not let her spend the money on a new tablet.

“What's wrong with your existing one?” Dean asked.

“It's too old”, she said.

“Your parents only got it for you at the start of last year”, some snarky soon to be ex-relative of hers pointed out. She glared at him.

They had stopped in front of a small costume store.

“I could always buy some clothes”, she suggested. To her surprise Cas shook his head.

“The allowance sent by your mother and father covers that sort of thing”, he said. “This has to be a present.”

She was about to move on when she noticed that Dean was looking particularly intently at one of the outfits in the window. She followed his line of sight, then blanched. A freakin' French maid's outfit?

“You two are disgusting!” she said, storming off as Dean blushed bright red.

“What happened?” Ben asked, following her. “Why are Daddy and Papa so bad?”

“No reason”, Cas said, catching them up. “Claire just 'maid' a mistake!”

Seriously, when could she put herself up for adoption?


	57. Week Fifty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas slips a Bad Word past an unwary Dean – and someone demands a divorce!

Claire, Cas and Ben were sat watching the TV that evening when Dean came in. He stormed across the room, stopped briefly to glare at his husband, harrumphed indignantly then stomped off up the stairs.

“What's wrong with Daddy?” Ben asked curiously.

“Daddy has been a bit too greedy again”, Cas said, ignoring the loud huff from the retreating figure. “Papa gave him a whole lot of Christmas cookies to deliver, some to the soldiers' place and others for your old home, and told him very firmly that he was _not_ to snaffle any for himself on the way round.”

“Papa was hopeful!” Claire snorted.

“I sealed all the bags except one”, Cas said. “I may have made some special jalapeño cookies for that particular bag. I can hardly be blamed for Dean trying to eat three at once.”

“So that was the obscene phone call”, Claire grinned. “One greedy mechanic.”

“What's 'obscene'?” Ben asked.

“It's when Daddy forgets himself and uses bad words”, Cas said. “For which he now owes the swear jar seven dollars fifty.”

They could all hear the huff from upstairs.

“Eight dollars with that gesture!” Cas called out.

Claire was impressed that her Uncle Dean could swear silently.

+~+~+

A short time after that Cas received a phone call which resulted in him having to dash out of the house. He was gone for over an hour and a half, and Dean was anxious when he finally got back in the pitch dark.

“Some Christmas!” he muttered as he embraced his angel.

Cas sighed. He had been pleased that their friend Lieutenant Ben had finally found love with his former buddy Lieutenant Crossdale, but the relationship had proven the last straw for Ben's sister's already strained marriage. Mrs. Fulready had spent the evening arguing with her husband who had finally walked out on her and said that he was not coming back, so Cas had immediately gone round and taken her to Ben's house where the two ex-soldiers were looking after her.

“So bigoted, some people”, Dean sighed.

“On both sides”, Cas agreed. “One of my students actually told me last week that gay people should not be allowed to live lives in the closet because, and I quote, 'it infringes the rights of the whole gay community'.”

“What did you do?” Dean asked.

“Set her and the class the proposition as an essay that they had to write a thousand words for or against”, his husband said. “Ms. Beaver's 'argument' was basically 'I know I'm right so there'. She was more than a little surprised when the openly gay professor went and failed her.”

Dean chuckled.

“It's been a long day”, Cas said with a yawn. “I think that tonight, I would just like to cuddle the man I love.”

Dean was about to nod in agreement when he belatedly realized.

“Hey!” he shouted. “No use of the c-word!”

Cas sniggered.


	58. Week Fifty-Two – I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the annual Dean and the 'Missing' Chocolate Decorations Thing.

It wasn't that Cas didn't trust Dean. Well, not exactly. He trusted him on most things.

Most. Not all.

The professor folded his arms and stared hard at his errant husband, who blushed.

“C'mon!” Dean not-whined. “You know how hopeless I am when it comes to chocolate decorations.”

That demonic smile was the first indication that some green-eyed personage in the vicinity was in deep, deep trouble.

“Oh I do”, Cas agreed. “Which is why, when it comes to the replacements that I had happened to have bought just in case.....”

He gave his blushing husband a hard look.

“I will be adopting a carrot and stick approach.”

“Huh?”

“If you can somehow refrain from eating any of them until January”, Cas smiled, “then I will do that thing with the waistcoat and glasses again.”

Dean was suddenly having difficulty breathing.

“But if you fail to control yourself”, Cas said suddenly, “then there will be no sex for a whole month!”

His husband stared at him in horror.

“And that includes pleasuring yourself when I'm not there”, Cas added.

Dean could not have been more screwed! In both senses!

+~+~+

Some hours later, he found that he could be. Cas had gone out, so Dean had made a quick dash to the mall only to return to find his husband back. Dammit!

Cas' eyes narrowed as Dean walked into the house.

“What are you hiding?” he demanded.

“Nothing!” Dean said way too quickly, holding out his hands and trying to look innocent. The blue-eyed stare only increased in its intensity.

“So if I were to go into the garage and search the Impala, would I find anything?”

“Nope. Nothing in Baby.”

“And if I opened that secret compartment you keep at the back of your tool-box...?”

Dean stared piteously at him. There may or may not have been some quivering of a lip (there was).

“Have mercy!” he begged. “Please, Cas!”

The smile that followed was terrifying.

“Well, I suppose it was my own fault”, Cas sighed in a put-upon manner. “I did not specifically ban you from getting in _more_ chocolate.”

Dean felt his hopes rising.

“So I shall just have to make sure that you work it all off!”

And now it wasn't just Dean's hopes that were rising! Goddam sexy professors using The Voice™ without any warning!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update tomorrow.


	59. Week Fifty-Two – II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean spends most of Christmas Day horizontal.

It had been a good Christmas. Dean was asleep on the sofa, moaning softly and having that weird golfing dream when he was stuck in a bunker and couldn't get out. Ben had been a little put out that he had not had his military namesake to hand but the two lieutenants had taken Parker Bradley to a military feast down at Fort Hood, which Cas had explained to his son would help their neighbour as he recovered from losing his good friend. And Gabriel hadn't even tried to prank Cas at all during the festive season, which explained why his brother was still alive and in possession of all his faculties.

“Poor Dean ate too much”, Claire said, coming in all wrapped up. “I bet he won't be able to manage any turkey sandwiches this evening.”

“Never underestimate the capacity of Dean's stomach”, Cas smiled. “You all ready?”

“Where's she going?” Dean muttered from the next room.

“She's driving over to spend the afternoon with Jesse”, Cas said, winking at his relative. “She'll be back tomorrow.”

“What?” Dean squawked. “No way..... ow!”

There was a thud as he tumbled off the couch. 

“How're you gonna stop me?” Claire teased. “Waddle after me all the way to the car? Pout at me like you can't poop, in the hope it makes you look all endearing?”

Dean moaned piteously.

“Have pity on an invalid!”

“Have pity on someone who ate too much and can't stand up any more?” she laughed. “Don't worry Uncle Dean, your cruel husband is just teasing you. I'll be back about ten.”

“You're all mean to me!”

“Chocolate decorations!” Cas coughed into his hand.

He could almost hear the pout.

+~+~+

Dean's day did not exactly improve as his teasing bastard of a husband insisting on wearing the Santa hat all day, which reminded the mechanic of when (and where!) Cas had last worn said item of headwear. Except that now he was too full to do much except for some very manly embracing that Cas liked so much.

“And cut with the damn smirking!” Dean grumbled. 

The bastard sniggered at him. Dean scowled; just wait till New Year!


	60. Week Fifty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a pregnancy test.... and it's positive!

Dean trusted Claire – mostly – but he definitely didn't trust that boyfriend of hers. He knew his sort, the Don Juan who would see a girl for a time then disappear on her once there was.....

_How the hell could Cas do that judgmental silence thing of his from the bloody garage?_

So Dean was not checking round Claire's room for any bad reason. He was just a concerned stand-in parent, doing the right thing because.... what the fuck was that?

Hell no!

+~+~+

Cas and Claire were watching TV when Dean entered, much more quietly than usual. Cas looked up sharply.

“Is something wrong, Dean?” he asked.

Dean fished silently in his pocket for the incriminating object, pulled it out, and placed it on the coffee-table. A pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test. Claire swore.

“You went into my room?” she demanded angrily.

“I was concerned!” Dean all but shouted, before remembering that Ben was asleep upstairs. “And I was damn right to be. It's that Jesse, isn't it?”

“No”, she sighed, taking out her wallet. “Charlie.”

“Huh?” Dean was confused.

He was even more confused when Claire handed over a twenty to his husband.

“I honestly didn't think you'd be _that_ nosy”, she grumbled. “Professor Know-All here was right, as per usual. He said you'd find it before New Year. Couldn't you have waited four more hours?”

“You set me up!” Dean protested. 

“With Charlie's help”, Cas said. “She got one of her pregnant friends to do it. Your face!”

Dean huffed and folded his arms.

“You're mean to me!” he not-whined.

“Never mind”, Cas said consolingly. “As a special treat I'll allow you to celebrate New Year's Day by eating the remaining decorations off the tree.”

“Hmph!”

“And that bag that you've been hiding over at Sarah's house.”

“What the....?”

“And the one at Benny's.”

“Cas!”

“And the one at Mrs. Tran's.”

Dean huffed and folded his arms. Well, if Cas was such a mind-reader then he could bloody well know just what his husband was thinking right now!

“Metal cabinet in the garage, second draw down on the left”, Cas said drily. “You bought them last week.”

“I'm off to bed before you both scar me for life!” Claire said cheerfully. “Night all.”

“How did you know.....?”

Dean stopped. Cas was giving him that look again. It was going to be a long, hard end to the old year.

+~+~+

On a not altogether unrelated related subject, Claire took Ben over to a sleepover at Benny's for the evening and then went to a party with Jesse and his family, And Dean did not complain about it at all.

To be more exact, what was left of Dean after the ball had dropped did not complain about it at all. Because that would have involved that tricky thing called speech!


End file.
